Три богатыря и морской царь

This is just as boring as every other cartoon in this shared BOGATYRY ANIMNATED UNIVERSE and now with even more unfunny sidekicks.

Just remember the good moral of this story: rape drugs and sexism will result in a happy end.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений, Мультипликация/анимация, Три богатыря, Три богатыря и морской царь, BOGATYRY ANIMNATED UNIVERSE

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The Big Short

This is basically the last part of Money as Debt spruced up with stock images and stock footage and crabby quotes for no reason. All while being tonally bankrupt, patronizing and unfunny; utterly failing at having any educational value.

>>this man changed your life
No, not really, i didn't even notice the 2008'th usa crisis. I probably was affected in some capacity, but under pukin's yoke, it was all the same poverty as always. The only effect it has on me personally is that there are no games after the entire gaming industry has collapsed, but again, games were a mistake.

Also, it's pretending that that recession is anything new and not a regular self-correction of the economy system, which is just a religious cult. The banking system can't die, because only robot overlords can count every hoomie on earth and give them an objective value and provide assets. Until then we need a functioning live self-managing abstract organism living in a faith-cloud, because the one thing every living organism wants is to survive (and procreate into other countries, ideologies and spheres (like politics)).

But in the end, the movie has good performances and enjoyable fictional characters, so it is tolerable overall.

@темы: Кино, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений, The Big Short

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Inside

It is a rather short (and it still overstays its welcome after the first 5 minutes) generic puzzle platformer with baby's first post-modern (which is from 1930's) garbage story-narrative dissonance and no meaning or idea why it even does exist.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений

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Bad Santa 2

It is just more of the same and it's pretty good. They even managed to make the unnecessary continuation of the story ark plausible.

Uhm, wait. So P.C. cancer left people blind to the obvious fact that Thurman is a literally retarded character?

@темы: Кино, Кинотеатр, Индустрия Развлечений, bad santa

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Inner Workings

Wow, this is just plain degenerate, disgustingly ugly and it is contradicting Disney's Reason and Emotion (basically saying that hitler is good). And it's demonizing office work filled with memes, Twitter, free internet and slacking. While real manual and conveyor workers slave away assembling iPhones for them. And that mindless beeping is probably an accurate representation of the enslaved sweatshop animators' work during the making of this short.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений, Мультипликация/анимация, Inner Workings

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부산행 (Busanhaeng)

Official russian translation.

This is the most tropey cliche tired zombie flick you can imagine. The characters are absolutely retarded and there are a ton of continuity errors.

Поезд в пукан (извините)

@темы: Кино, Кинотеатр, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений, Busanhaeng

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Robin Hood (2010)

It is a very retarded, but enjoyable origin story, that fell victim to the modern destinyfication of every story.

@темы: Кино, robin hood, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений

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Max Steel (2016)

Official russian translation.

It is a generic teen superhero origins story, witha retarded sidekick who can't shut up.

@темы: Кино, Кинотеатр, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений, Max Steel

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Синдбад: Пираты семи штормов

This cartoon have mostly okay animation and art-style. But the writing and pacing are pretty bad. The sound design is inadequate, the voice-acting is quite bad, the songs are despicable.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений, Мультипликация/анимация, Sinbad the Sailor, Синдбад: Пираты семи штормов

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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

It is yet another dumb movie about dumb people, that looks so pathetic it was targeted towards females. This time it says that alpha males get the grills and should always bully weak nerds. And that magic garbage society works like putin's russia — it consists of cock-a-doodle-doos who are too adroop to vote or act.
Oh and harru is ripped, just like an alpha male should be. Now he needs to bully sum dum nerds, just like his redneck father did.
And no one cared to use several available truth magics on the suspect who is also a witness on the different much more serious case.

Even the VFX quality is a downgrade compared to the third movie.

@темы: Кино, Harry Potter, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений

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Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Yet more of the same garbage, this time with sexual harassment and a middle school of death.

The universe is totally inconsistent and absolutely random with its rules. The plot just happens and the stuff from the previous instalments is forgotten. The final fight is laughably pathetic and retarded, and this whole series can only be enjoyed by >f e m a l e s<. I.E. it is a shit for faggots.

If we have Potter's parents and Pattinson's ghosts why don't they live in Hogwarts with other ghosts? Why don't his parents speak with him and guide harru then? WTF is with Hermione? Is she having her period? She runs around screaming hysterically and being annoying. Why does ron acting like a faggot? And WTF has happened to Hogwarts in the fourth instalment? It is just, like, has been turned into a burned kebab refugee shelter.

@темы: Кино, Harry Potter, Индустрия Развлечений

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Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

It is a convoluted pile of shit. It has so many plot devices that it doesn't make any sense and the characters are just blind.

They finally did add transitions, but the plot is still overcompressed, while being overly long all while being empty and uneventful.

@темы: Кино, Harry Potter, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений

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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

It is yet another garbage HP movie. Ironically, in the second movie, the kids forgot how to act at all. They were fine in that first shattered to pieces attempt at a movie, but here harru and ron act worse than the toilet stalls, which are the real leads and have the longest runtime in the film.
To tolerate the retarded retreading of the opening, one can just pretend that it's uncle Monty on screen, 10 years after being cured in a christian camp.

this is me harru in the corner

It has the same incoherent structure with jumps from summer to winter in a matter of 10 minutes, without any chapter envelopes or other pace-pacyfying tools. Which is baffling considering its 2:40 runtime and that it manages to tell less than LOTR, all while lacking any downtime and character development.
It literally has machina ex machina and several other plot devices and scripted resolutions. Some plot "punchlines" lack any proper setups and just happen.

And the morbidity of this movie is just baffling.

@темы: Кино, Harry Potter, Кинотеатр, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений

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Nine Lives

Official russian translation.

It is a generic movie in the "2000s talking CGI animals" subgenre. As a revival of the genre it is a peculiar case, but does it have any die-hard fans who prefer it over the "90s talking live-action animals" subgenre?

The performances of the mother and the daughter are bad. The sound design is retarded — they use fake cat barks every second of the cat's on-screen time, even while the real cat has its mouth shut.

@темы: Кино, Кинотеатр, Nine Lives, Индустрия Развлечений

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Sausage Party

Official russian translation.

It is a pointless pathetic retarded degenerate Seth Rogen's pile of shit with 1,5 "jokes" and drugs. Because that is a generic Seth Rogen for you. A-ha-ha aren't drugs like phunnie guise?
Buns don't use vertical kinetics, which is a waste and a cop-out.

But i was given a great 8\10 coloring+puzzle book as a freebie with the tickets.

The translation is obviously rated E for everyone, despite the age rating of the picture.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений, Мультипликация/анимация, Sausage Party

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Aloha (2015)

It is a toothless movie trying to be something like Mike Judge’s movies.

So usa’s nuclear NASA is good but SpaceX and its likes are the bad guys? Ha-ha. Of course.

@темы: Кино, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений, Aloha

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Mechanic: Resurrection

Official russian translation.

It has a much worse story (save the gril, help the orphans), but a much better writing. Finally, he not just talks about preparation, but actually does his homework and plays Hitman (even if lousy), instead of running in guns blazing and being confused with his feelings. Though, it lost some of that, which resembled "style" in the remake.

@темы: Кино, Кинотеатр, Индустрия Развлечений, Mechanic

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captain forever remix

It is a block-constructing top-down space combat roguelite. The constructing part is mediocre, options are limited, and there is only one successful design. Meanwhile, the strict time limit destroys the most fun part of such games — engineering. The combat is really poor and the best option is to use something with the longest range and do a lot of kiting. The art-style of the game is clean and unremarkable, the art-style of the story is something out of the Klasky Csupo i.e. incredibly ugly. The story itself is primitive and almost unexistent, while the writing is irritating and talking heads take a significant part of the screen, so you can't see where are you shooting.

Overall it's an ok game for one successful session. But then i could never play the other starter kits. I would actually like a game like this, if it was made good.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры, Индустрия Развлечений, captain forever

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龙在哪里 (Long zai na li)

A CGI animated movie, which is as dumb as any amerikan cartoon, but it has a chinese story and narrative, therefore it is less tiresome to watch. Though, i think with overexposure they would be equal.

It’s medium budgeted and with uneven distribution. Some furs look just great, while other furs are basic flats. Should’ve either make all furs plain textures or all furs fully modeled, for tonal consistency.

For some reason it has a retarded very long flashback sequence in the middle, showing you what you just saw in the last hour. And it seems it’s a common element in the chinese animation. Is it an ancient chinese secret for retarded adhd humie maggots?

Also the song in the ending is absolutely awful. If someone would make a recut without pointless flashback and without that song, it’ll be an ok cartoon.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Индустрия Развлечений, Мультипликация/анимация, Long zai na li