Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

It has one hour of plot stretched to four hours of incoherent inconsequential video with bad make-up. And it even has nothing to do with the deathly hallows themselves at all.

@темы: Кино, Harry Potter

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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

It is yet another dumb movie about dumb people, that looks so pathetic it was targeted towards females. This time it says that alpha males get the grills and should always bully weak nerds. And that magic garbage society works like putin's russia — it consists of cock-a-doodle-doos who are too adroop to vote or act.
Oh and harru is ripped, just like an alpha male should be. Now he needs to bully sum dum nerds, just like his redneck father did.
And no one cared to use several available truth magics on the suspect who is also a witness on the different much more serious case.

Even the VFX quality is a downgrade compared to the third movie.

@темы: Кино, Harry Potter, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений

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Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Yet more of the same garbage, this time with sexual harassment and a middle school of death.

The universe is totally inconsistent and absolutely random with its rules. The plot just happens and the stuff from the previous instalments is forgotten. The final fight is laughably pathetic and retarded, and this whole series can only be enjoyed by >f e m a l e s<. I.E. it is a shit for faggots.

If we have Potter's parents and Pattinson's ghosts why don't they live in Hogwarts with other ghosts? Why don't his parents speak with him and guide harru then? WTF is with Hermione? Is she having her period? She runs around screaming hysterically and being annoying. Why does ron acting like a faggot? And WTF has happened to Hogwarts in the fourth instalment? It is just, like, has been turned into a burned kebab refugee shelter.

@темы: Кино, Harry Potter, Индустрия Развлечений

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Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

It is a convoluted pile of shit. It has so many plot devices that it doesn't make any sense and the characters are just blind.

They finally did add transitions, but the plot is still overcompressed, while being overly long all while being empty and uneventful.

@темы: Кино, Harry Potter, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений

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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

It is yet another garbage HP movie. Ironically, in the second movie, the kids forgot how to act at all. They were fine in that first shattered to pieces attempt at a movie, but here harru and ron act worse than the toilet stalls, which are the real leads and have the longest runtime in the film.
To tolerate the retarded retreading of the opening, one can just pretend that it's uncle Monty on screen, 10 years after being cured in a christian camp.

this is me harru in the corner

It has the same incoherent structure with jumps from summer to winter in a matter of 10 minutes, without any chapter envelopes or other pace-pacyfying tools. Which is baffling considering its 2:40 runtime and that it manages to tell less than LOTR, all while lacking any downtime and character development.
It literally has machina ex machina and several other plot devices and scripted resolutions. Some plot "punchlines" lack any proper setups and just happen.

And the morbidity of this movie is just baffling.

@темы: Кино, Harry Potter, Кинотеатр, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений