Lego Scooby-Doo! Blowout Beach Bash

This is the first Scooby-Doo animation, which isn’t painful to watch for me. Because the modern “lego”-style writing, no matter the actual executors or sсript-writers, overwrites all other narratives and styles and make them work. I don’t know how that magic works, but all authors i saw so far are trying to use the medium instead of making generic cartoons, but with faux-lego design.
Though, cinematography is very strange — beside the usual bricks and low-effort fillers, like sky and sand, it has very, very high-resolution water, fire and smoke. Also a CGI cartoon has lens-flare. Seriously?

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Scooby-Doo, Lego, Lego Scooby-Doo!, Lego Scooby-Doo! Blowout Beach Bash, Индустрия Развлечений

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Run Silent, Run Deep

An interesting war\submarine movie, with the structure somewhat more akin to a detective, than a drama. There is not much to talk about, outside of just restating the plot, but the actual movie is well made and still works despite it’s age.

@темы: Run Silent, Run Deep, Кино

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Rick and Morty

Season 1-2.

A tryhard ow the edge cartoon, which just like any other amerikan series is just reusing ancient sci-fi tropes and plots but with marginally different set of characters. The jokes are so tryhard — they are boring, that’s when they are jokes and not just amerikan flatulence. The morals and the view of life, which it successfully sells to amerikan celldweller mom’s basket-sons, are the most basic truisms for anyone outside of tiny “western world” (USA, Canada, Australia, centre of the EU). Stuff like that i heard every time my dad got drunk and wanted to talk at four in the morning in the kitchen if i wasn’t sleeping. You don’t need to be a mental giant to know how screwed up life actually is. Basic knowledge of school’s course on history and biology and couple of headlines from the news is enough for that.
The animation is garbage and the art-style is intentionally bad I Was Only Pretending To Be Retarded. Which also describes it in general, an outdated cheap post-modernism with unjokes. The only noteworthy episode is the last one, and not because it’s good, but because that would make an okay ending for the series and it is the only contextually edgy turn of events.
(~2015)

Season 3.

Just more of the same. Scratch that, it’s degradation to the more of the same. The last episode of the second season is reverted and everything suddenly went back to amerikan suburban lifestyle of a dysfunctional family. Wake up, The Simpsons started in 1989, they are almost as old as me. And that’s not counting possible live-action predecessors.
This season is somewhat kinda with a ten-meter stick attempts serialization, but never actually commits to it outside of mentioning it out of place from time to time.

Let’s take the Pickle Rick for example. We have an episode with a noteworthy action sequences in the sewers, which have a very bad and tired premise of family therapy. Footage of which steals run-time from the events in the sewer and interjects them, ruining the pacing. After the sewers the action side of this episode goes into an utterly racist and retarded fight, unrelated to anything in that universe and not really sound geographically, considering that we had a lot of aerial shots of the neighbourhood. It feels like this part was tacked on only due to the current amerikan racist sentiment created by corrupt libtard media to somehow red herring the public from their crimes. And the moral of the story is that therapy doesn’t work and Rick thinks he is smart. We get it, you vape.
Instead of doing a nice action episode, it is muddied with 4\5 of the stale cellophane garbage. And that applies to the whole season. Oh, and that serialization? Forget about it, they tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn’t even matter — they reverted everything back again. And did it inside this short season, not even in the first episode of the next.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Энтропия, Rick and Morty, Индустрия Развлечений

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Block’hood

A small low-poly ecologically themed city-builder with GUI looking like something early-access brought. The mechanics are sound, somewhat unusual and interesting enough. The problem is that the main campaign\tutorial is so short — it still has half of the blocks locked in the last level. And aimless sandboxes are for kids and autists. Though, even kids are trying to come up with the stories when they play in the physical sandboxes. Also real sandboxes have a real challenge — you don’t want your creations to cave in or fall apart, instead of made up self-imposed challenges with no judges of your performance.

I would like to have a big full campaign and with better tutorials in this game. Something on par with Impressions Games’ city-builders.

It somewhat works and is playable in the UHD UWS Surround, but menus are screwed up.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры, Block’hood, Индустрия Развлечений

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Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie

An animated feature film with an interesting art-style, but probably the worst world and storyline of this year (due to ass-creed counting as 2016). It’s so bad, it beats all of the Shrek sequels combined, with it’s right hand tied up it’s own arse. Watching this is like watching high-budget feature-length Ren & Stimpy “Adult Party Cartoon”.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Captain Underpants, Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie

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Army of One

A one bizarro movie based on actual events. The protagonist is kind of obnoxious and jokes are kind of low effort, but the character found its actor. Nicolas Cage pulls the role off perfectly and all dark comedy bits and kool aid Jesús are working too.

@темы: Army of One, Кино

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The Hunter’s Prayer

A generic post-action movie. But not in the sense of cinematography but in it’s subject matter. It’s tolerable but unremarkable and unmemorable.

@темы: The Hunter’s Prayer, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Killing Gunther

This Is Spın̈al Glockumentary

A fake-documentary dark comedy, which improves the formula by using this subject matter, but is also dragged down by the tropes of this tiny genre and inherent weak cinematography.

The real documentaries are usually much more engaging and dynamic in their editing than this.

@темы: Killing Gunther, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Security (2017)

A pretty trivial premises-defense action movie. But since it has mostly okay cinematography, a pinch of grimdark and it is not about crying MARINES! (despite the storyline kinda being about that), it makes it somewhat outstanding in the >>current year.

@темы: Security (2017), Кино

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Trancers

Trancers

A usual story about two outsiders duking it out in the contemporary USA. The main character is cool, some things work nice and overall it’s enjoyable but unremarkable.

Trancers II

A typical “but he had a brother” sequel, slightly complicated with quasi-ressurection of protagonist’s dead wife of his backstory.

McNulty grannie returns with the same actress, with whole story being aged accordingly.

Pay attention to the Rabbit, something tells me he’s gonna stick around.

Trancers III
Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From the Future

This instalment has the Shark and shows Deth’s daughter\granny, but overall is unremarkable and forgettable. It’s still enjoyable, though.

Trancers 4: Jack of Swords

…perpendicular method of sсript-writing…

Usually series are going into space in later installments, but it’s already kind of from there, so, instead, they went to the past to live in dirty castle that suck ass.

It’s fine, but the ending is a little inconclusive.

Trancers 5: Sudden Deth

And this is why the fourth movie works, but feels a little off. It was kind of a two-parter.

Jack goes back to the future world and gets himself yet another girl.

Trancers 6

This installment is mixing up the formula by putting Jack (in the absence of Tim Thomerson) into the body of his own grannie\daughter. The usual dumb jokes of such setup (hello, Quantum Leap) come up only once, the rest of the film is a full-fledged Trancers.

The lead actress is kind of great and really pulls off a role of Tim Thomerson playing Jack Deth. On top of that, it creates a “badass” female protagonist, who doesn’t act “bitchy” or “slutty” on top of that, which is kind of a rarity (anyone beside Ripley from the Alien?)

The film is mostly good, but the prophecy parts are cinematographically unfitting and fake Thomerson parts are jarring.

Trancers: City of Lost Angels

A short movie which takes place between first and second Trancers and is cut out from Pulse Pounders anthology film.

@темы: Trancers, Pulse Pounders, Кино

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Robosapien: Rebooted

An utmost generic “surprisingly speaking sidekick” type of the movie for indiscriminating kids, in the world of which you can rob all your neighbours and get away with it.

@темы: Энтропия, Robosapien, Robosapien: Rebooted, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Our little Secret (2004)

A short movie, which is aping Nolan’s Following or something and is absolutely random and makes no sense. What it even tries to tell?

@темы: Энтропия, Our little Secret (2004), Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Justice League (2017)

МИНЮСТ

It’s a one fine grimdark CGI cartoon. It starts somewhat weak, with a scene cut so bad that it’s impossible to understand what is happening and why it is even mentioned later in the movie. But, despite it being a Zack Snyder film (or maybe even due to it being a Zack Snyder film) the rest of the movie has okay cinematography which is entirely comprehensible and unobtrusive. But the sound design is kind of strange — when the movie moves into Poland, it tries to play some of the local music motives. And usually such things are made only for a joke.

The characters are enjoyable, new Flash is just great, the old man Batman being honest is an interesting take, laughstock Aquamen being a cocky muscle machine was needed too. Overall, it’s nowhere worse than any Marvel movie, and even better than some.

The problem is, i have to re-watch director’s cuts of all of the DC movies. And not only for additional footage, but also for the original voices. And i hope one for this will fix the opening.

@темы: Кинотеатр, DC comics, Batman, Aquaman, Cyborg (DC Comics), Justice League (2017), Flash (DC Comics), Кино, Superman, Wonder Woman, Justice League

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Death Note

A convoluted garbage with no consistent rules and giant leaps in logic on L’s part. Who is a magic government secret kid-detective. It’s not interesting and has nothing to show. Ryok is always bashfully hiding in the shadows, like some cheap horror killer, instead of always quirkily being in the open, like screenshots of the cartoon suggest. No one sees him anyway. The last chapter looks like unimaginable contrived trash, but it all is explained in the end and it’s the only thing which actually kinda works. If you came to terms with retarded setup and forgave it.

Dumb movies with abysmal plots are fine as long they don’t pretend to be serious or as long as they are using straight face to juxtapose the obvious absurdism. This is just pretentious ow the edge with nothing to show. The only nice thing is Willem Dafoe, though he should have played the Ryok and could do it without any make-up.

@темы: Desu Noto, Death Note, Энтропия, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Teen Titans: The Judas Contract

Deathstroke bizarro adventure

The film starts with flashback which has nothing in common with this storyline, or theme, or tone, or even narrative, while using a different animation and art styles and it features different people. Then it leaps to present with a ton of "who are all those people" in the first scene. If you suppose that your audience already knows everyone and what happened in between, then don't even show an unrelated and even dissonant clip from the past. Instead, they should've show where Terra came from and how she joined the team. Like in the source material.

Some moments in the writing of the film itself are rather jarring, but they are kind of explained later in the movie.

The thing is, troubled youth in Marvel universe is handled by Xavier, whose superpower is that he is superprofessor, and always can help by being parental figure and a magic brain-scanning functioning psychoanalyst at the same time.
In DC we just take a bunch of kids, give them free out of any education card, and put them in the giant dorm. Which is built for a hundred of people, but usually is occupied by about ten persons. What realistically goes there is more akin to the Teen Titans Go! than any other adaptation.
Next, the alien 30 years old chick falls out of the sky on 17 years old dude and sexually harasses him. Five years down the line, those adults are hanging out with young kids, while said chick just runs around early-teen boys (and girls) bare assed.
The evil doom machine 9000 can create a man with... The Power of the Five People! And beside meta-humans and aliens, the priest wanted to add power of a teen and an adult in tight suits to the mix. Of course! Even the movie itself treats them like garbage. While everyone is fighting the chimera, Robins just wasting their time unsuccessfully trying to beat a lone vietnam veteran on steroids after cardiopulmonary resuscitation.
Speaking of which, was he resurrected before he found much younger Terra, than depicted, or was he just absent for some time, while she was alone in his big, strong, glistering secret lair without food and no way out?
This version of Terra tries so hard to grimdark everything and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter. Well, okay, drama, drama, lolita, child abuse, whatever; even with blood gushing everywhere on screen, all dirty talk about grandpa's dick and premature ejaculation, they still chickened out of nips-nips in see-through peignoir. But then a rock falls on her. But she is god of rocks. But she was dug out in one piece. But then she dramatically dies in his hands and he must scream no-o-o-o-o-o! to the sky. At least they should have leave her buried and squished, instead of making that retarded trope.

DC is always nonsensical outside of the "cinematic universe", so the only way to watch this movie right, is to skip the flashback and treat it like an adaptation of a single story-ark from the comics.

Overall it looks okay (if we don't count Deasthstroke's JoJo lips) and the cinematography is fine, even despite the jarring clash with 3D animation. It is just a generic action movie with generic story. It's okay.

А насчёт педобугурта в пендостане — пока вы делаете вид, что дети не начинают интересоваться сексом с пяти лет, они будут раздеваться и трынькать для незнакомых стариков в интернете за бесплатно, а эти записи будут накапливаться на бесконечных сайтах для извращенцев. А ведь это можно было бы решить простым разговором, а не делать вид что этого не существует.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, DC comics, Teen Titans

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Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

A new Poirot movie starts with stache being too flamboyant, some bad joke(?) trying to characterize the protagonist as ???? and an “ow the edge” line, set up only to be shattered later, instead of using it as a stylistic choice for him.

This is my first orient express and it is just fine. A really nice classic murder mystery with no outstanding pieces (outside of this double stache) good or bad — everything inside the train is just right.

I’m barely familiar with the source material, but David Suchet’s Poirot is kind of outstanding in that field. Unlike the rest of the detectives, he is fat and poorly bald, but feels and positions himself as the most pretty male in the vicinity. Meanwhile Kenneth Branagh’s Poirot have stature, piercing blue eyes and imposing hairdo. It’s hard to distinguish him from Sherlocks or just any noir Detective with fedora. So it seems Branagh decided to overcompensate that with his overkill double-decker stache.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Poirot, Murder on the Orient Express, Murder on the Orient Express (2017), Кино

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Doll Graveyard
Did someone overdose on some serious shchi?

An utterly boring and tired movie, which pretends to be a real horror, while it lacks the required budget and has a stale story. Well, at least it created Ooga Booga, who became a prominent figure in the future of Full Moon Cinematic Universe.

Ragdoll

Yet another killer doll movie, where the premise is better than it’s execution. Shadow Man is kind of great, mobster’s brothers are nice too. Overall it’s just okay.

Totem (1999)

The movie has an interesting premise, but bad acting, choppy cinematography, random footage from some viking movie and an abrupt underwhelming ending are making it bad.

Hideous!

A typical horror movie from the Full Moon, with interesting characters and unusual premise.

I was hunting for it for some time since i first saw it on TV in the childhood. I though i missed the whole second part, but it turned out i probably watched it entirely, since it’s lacking a big fight and is mostly about people talking.

These kids are supposed to be kids\experiments of the Bride of the Head of the Family. Still waiting.

@темы: Hideous!, Doll Graveyard, Ooga Booga, Ragdoll, Totem (1999), Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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The Gingerdead Men

Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust

A meta-referential movie with the a great opening scene, and ridiculous puppets crucifying the Gingerdead. With the lower budget, the doll of the Gingerdead is much less articulate, but there is a scene where he is piloting a mech-suit. Also now the main antagonist has his own musical theme.

The title of this movie is plain great.

Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver
The Roller Disco Beauty Pageant Boogaloo.

The movie starts with the scene referencing The Silence of the Lambs and featuring some new puppets, after which it goes back to the past, to see the shitty roller disco that sucks ass. Well, to be honest, the footage with real disco rollers showing of their skill is kinda interesting.
The puppet is not very articulate, and the movie uses some rather cheap CGI, but overall it’s just yet another ridiculous comedy-horror from Full Moon, if you want one.

@темы: The Gingerdead Man, Кино

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Evil Bongs

Evil Bong

A trivial stoner movie, which ties half of the Full Moon’s separate film series into one shared cinematic universe.

The bong is delivered by the Rabbit, who escaped Trancers 2, while in the bong world we have appearances from Ooga Booga of Doll Graveyard and kind of his own movie (which features the different soul and happens after Evil Bong: High 5), Ivan Burroughs of the Decadent Evil which is also tied to the Vampire Journals and Subspecies, Gingerdead Man of his own series, who will become a prominent character in the real world of Evil Bong later, Jack Attack of Demonic Toys, which ties it to the world where the first Demonic Toys really happened (Head of the Family, Blood Dolls, Hideous!, Demonic Toys 2: Personal Demons and nonexistent Bride of the Head of the Family and therefore maybe to Mystery Monsters; also featuring the footage from the Puppet Master series and crossovering with it in that real world or in that media world) and the world where it all was just a dream (Dollman, Bad Channels, Dollman vs. Demonic Toys), and the Jack Deth, again from Trancers.

The movie has a great main theme, but the rest is a vinegret of different tracks randomly starting and stopping. Also it has absolutely useless and somewhat obnoxious break-bumpers.
Overall it’s okay, but the main attraction is the singularity event for the Full Moon cinematic universe.

Evil Bong 2: King Bong

Second movie has new Alister, which is kinda addressed, and a very nice costume for Brett. Rabbit has switched his occupation yet again.

Just like with some classic sequels, it makes old Terminator Bong an anti-hero, whose help is required to defeat the new, more powerful version. Which is her (ex?) boyfriend — the King Bong.

Evil Bong 3D: The Wrath of Bong

This movie has yet another new Alister, which is also addressed. Structurally it repeats the second movie, with the new antagonist being an alien bong. The storyline is continued, but Alister plays a more passive role this time, with Larnell being the main action here, who saved everyone.
The uncontrollable alien weed infestation is dropped and never mentioned in the universe again, with the jungle weed returning as the main resource in this universe.

Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong

This movie makes The Gingerdead Man a prequel to the first Evil Bong, instead of one of the bong world creations, but at the same time it means that Passion of the Crust and Saturday Night Cleaver happened some time after the Evil Bong 666.

It’s fun that they had to use the same actress in two different roles, which she managed to pull off. But the ending is underwhelming and inconclusive.

The new special effects for the Gingerdead are superior to the plain puppet, which can’t move lips, from The Gingerdead Man sequels. Also it’s kind of great to see, that with the current improved technologies, one of the oldest technics became a good-looking one.

Evil Bong 420

Oh. Oh. I get it. It is not a movie anymore, it’s a line-series. With no resolution or catharsis for each individual “episode”. The Hambo getting the inspiration for Joe Cracker puts it before the Ooga-Booga movie. But the Doll Graveyard doll itself is already active and is attacking racists in this movie.
It’s interesting how strange the Hambo is. He is not a racist himself and he is disrespecting the real racist characters, but doesn’t even see any problems with his designs.

While the lack of catharsis is frustrating it’s still a tolerable joyride on the waves of the Full Moon cinematic universe. Because the current Gingerdead Man effects and writing are kind of great.

Evil Bong: High 5

And here now we finally have a conclusion to this story-ark. Even cliffhanger is better than nothing.
Considering that Hambo is still collecting his inspirations (BUY NOOOOOW), it places this movie before Ooga Booga in the timeline (which i will totally make). Also this movie namedrops Killjoy‘s Psycho Circus, but does it warrant including Killjoy series into Full Moon Cinematic Universe?
It’s a nice touch, that when hostages are being (c\h)arassed by Poontang tribe, one of them kind of likes it and the other isn’t. It includes >>the current year into the movie, without turning it into ancient genre trope of all girls are bi. Though… I just googled it and libtards turned this from being an offensive and degrading cliche into another autistic pride banner \o.

High-five times out of 10.

@темы: Subspecies, Dollman, Bad Channels, Demonic Toys, Head of the Family, Hideous!, Blood Dolls, Doll Graveyard, Ooga Booga, The Gingerdead Man, Decadent Evil, Evil Bong, Trancers, Vampire Journals, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Why him?

What looked like yet another tired “meet the parents” type garbage, turned out to be “meet the parents” an okay movie. Instead of yet another “quirky” boyfriend, it actually more focuses on the gap in generations and is based upon >>the current year, instead of some inoffensive nowhen (which basically means garbage american 80s nostalgia, which this movie somewhat makes the fun of). It’s not only a two notches deeper than expected from the genre, it’s also somehow manages to be funny, while avoids “how do you do my fellow kids”. The second notch, mentioned before, is more agency for female characters and without any feminazi garbage. This is how it’s done right.

@темы: Why him?, Кино