The Secret Of Kells

…stop me if you’ve heard this one before…

This film is somewhat similar to The Book of Life. They both are extremely stylized and use two (or more) different styles instead of using one coherent style. They both have very weak stories and bad out of place jokes. And they both don’t really represent their subject matter — a “celebration of the local culture”.

But The Book of Life has “friendship is magic” parts to its generic story and its design is “never seen before”. And The Secret of Kells is reminiscent of soviet animation tradition (considered to be surrealistic in the west), uses comics’ panels for no reason in couple of places and has jarring 3D in couple of others. Also the cinematography is somewhat stiff, probably to keep the age ratings, and sometimes uses a different art-styles, which are clashing with everything else.

The storyline is yet another “daddy issues” “hide vs expose” thing and i’m not sure if that structure is even related to the ireland or if it was just imposed by englishmen. “The waifu” which is heavily used to advertise this, is no more than a minor sidekick (with not that great voice-acting). And it has a lot of those. It has the whole “captain planet” team of racist stereotypes — literally “a big-ass ooga booga” (not even voiced by a black dude), a short, wise, ancient, long-living “the gook”, gloomy slave (what an orthodox can do in the Abbey? Was there schism already?) and a fat mumbling italian with mario stache doing fingers. And on top of all that we have the irish cat. The fairy is basically a plot device, team racist is no more than out of place “””comic”” relief” and the cat is perpendicular to everything. It exists only because it’s irish and they just had to namedrop it here. The now topical wall is only methaphorical — the evool vikings can just teleport on top of it. There is no proof or explanation of why it was a bad idea, and how everything would be better without it. And the vikings are just orks. Not different culture, not barbarians, not bandits, not even people, just orks. And even truly irish Cromm Crúaich is just another Níðhöggr\Jǫrmungandr going full οὐροβόρος. Isn’t this supposed to celebrate irish unique selling points?

Of course some types of catholicism can go full regional, like black gospel, modern “latino” gangsta catholicism or polish “angelic” hussars. But what is depicted here is so anglosphere-mainstream, that i know that it’s irish only because i read the wiki entry afterwards. I though it’s just some surrealism inspired by soviet-born Геннадий Тартаковский (especially considering the similarities between his Samurai Jack and ᴅʀᴀᴍᴀᴛɪᴄ scenes in this movie), put in the general western europe medieval-type drawings.

It’s peculiar, quaint and picturesque, but even The Book of Life has more going to it’s story and it’s characters. And for someone very familiar with soviet style of animation — this movies is not even that rare, notable or outstanding.

And there is no secret.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, The Secret Of Kells, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений

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Thor: Ragnarok

It is a nice marvel sci-fi movie and is better than both Guardians of the Galaxy. But of course it’s MCU so it has two characters from the shared universe. Homecoming had one, this film has two, next one will have three? Iron Man 3 somehow managed to stay clean and wholesome, without outside help. And while Hulk plays a big role in the Ragnarok, Doctor Strange is used as a plot device in an insignificant fan-service scene. I know, that that’s exactly what is happening in modern comics, but they have almost a century of the backstory. And even at that, comics themselves are usually criticized by casual audience for jumping from series to series and being obtuse to get into. Movies haven’t yet reached that point, and it would’ve felt much better, if all those mixed-series movies were called just Avengers 10 or Avengers: Thor and Hulk’s Day Off, to signify that they are all from the same series and are interdependent.

While thematically somewhat related, Immigrant Song have no place with alien vikings and the rest of the OST, reminiscent of 80s tradition of “future music” consisting of light synth. Well, at least it’s not another 80s-masturbation fest and it uses mostly original music, which also isn’t generic orchestral non-independent garbage

So called “3D” is plain abysmal and disjointed, also it seems that this movie was (poorly) converted and was not filmed in 3D from the start. Перевод — говно для даунов, актёры озвучки отвратительные.

@темы: Thor, Кинотеатр, Marvel, Hulk, Thor: Ragnarok, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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5/4

Yet another peculiar surrealistic animated short movie by Иван Максимов.

In some sense, for me, Максимов is solved author — i have no urge to see the rest of his works, because i know beforehand that they all are surreal and they all are good.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, 5/4

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宇宙海賊キャプテンハーロック (Uchū Kaizoku Kyaputen Hārokku) (2013)

Pirates of the Spacebbean: Depressed Men Pout in the Corner

Despite utterly depressed mood, overly dramatic edge-overload storyline and boring soundtrack, it’s still quite interesting to see. There are not much wholesome crazy space operas around these days. Even Star Wars is just moping around for past five movies.

Also the song played during credits is some laughable J-Pop.

Maybe it’s a fault of this adaptation, relying on the knowledge of the source material, or maybe it’s just japanese school of writing, but this movie just throws a bunch of high and low concepts at the viewer, supposing they will sort it all out for themselves.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Captain Herlock, Uchu Kaizoku Kyaputen Harokku

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Space Pirates and Zombies 2

First game was a tight and rather deep top-down (space melee) shooter with some real-time tactics elements and full classic interface. This game… Is a bizarro third person flat-space shooter with real-time open world map. It has 2000s low-poly graphics, janky pseudo “air” 2000s GUI, and it is a sequel-now-with-factions, just like in 2000s.

Now you control the modular mothership, while all of the old ships are no more than fodder escort, with already unlocked predefined assortment of guns and ability to overlevell. You can switch to them, but the fleet acts like a swarm anyway and you can’t move every ship individually to separate corners of the map.
Instead of tech tree you have 2 limits for the size of the parts and cap on 15 cores, with percentile upgrades on level-up. Though, there is no cap on your level and exp-demand increase is very steep, which is very good and rewarding.
All quests are gone and there is only short storyline and a couple of mostly pointless “events”. Digging operations are not that good for resources, while being tens of times slower than in the original and without clear indication of resources of 2d map or ability to mine them with all ships at once.
There are a lot of different guns for different play-styles attached to different ship parts. There is even courier delivery system of your purchases and you can order bespoke maximum quality parts.
Old arenas were a test of wits and skills, now it’s just randomly generated 5 boring short stages of increasing difficulty per base, which are more akin to tutorial, than challenge. Even rewards for them are unworthy.
Over-world is engaging enough, but your engines will slowdown depending on the weight of your ship and your cargo, which is very unpleasant. And considering the lack of ability to speed-up time it’s not fun at all to watch your snail move from starbase to starbase to sell your garbage. there is a good system for instant selling of parts from your inventory, but it’s not mentioned anywhere and i discovered it only after i defeated the final boss.

The storyline was not that great before, but now it’s just random short outburst of who-cares cynical edgy you-have-to-be-quite-intelligent-to-understand-rick-and-morty texts with as ugly portraits as before. It heavily relies on you remembering all those people and reasons for their constant bickering from the first game. And even at that, that’s like five “kill them all” quests, with boring boss-fight and very bad cliffhanger. Narratively, the last quest is absolutely pointless and harms the storytelling with a wasted decision.

Overall it’s an epitome of 2000s junk — bizarro core mechanics, bad GUI which refused dos’ clutter and 90s era artistic panels, only to become unpleasant and barely readable, low poly angular graphics, sequel-now-with-factions, and somewhat innovative and strangely engaging mechanics, which you may not saw before and will never see again, in the grimdark future of generic american action adventure garbage. GOTY 2017, they don’t make them like these anymore.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры, Space Pirates and Zombies

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Alien Shooter TD

Sigma team continues to survive by reusing their old assets from Alien shooter 2 (2006). Though, in the current market it looks far superior to another ugly faux retro fake pixelart game with no talent, and the old music from the alien shooter is still great. If you don’t like tower defense genre, this game won’t change your mind, but it has enough fresh ideas for people who do like tower defense games. Mechanically, base game works very good and encourages the player to switch their strategy several times. Instead of towers you have several classes, which can bring up to three guns (out five or seven) to the level, and reloading those guns also costs money. So you have to find the fine balance between damage and ammo cost for the current meta. Though, heavy classes are under-utilized, since they are wasting a lot of space and don’t have big enough range. There is a lot of grinding and leveling up to do, with sufficient amount of guns of different quality, found on levels and in the lootboxes (for in-game currency). Each stage has four difficulty levels and there are 8 infinite stages. The main levels work great as is, but on infinite levels you start noticing the lack of usual for the genre target controls, which is the problem on the later waves.

It’s just a good game without ambitions. But in the year of no games, even just a good game is the king.

The game works just fine in UHD UWS Surround.

@темы: Alien Shooter, Компьютерные Игры

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Hacksaw Ridge

A usual war movie, which somewhat lifts it structure from Full Metal Jacket. Despite being about less mentioned theatre of war and about medics, the movie still focuses on usual combat stuff, shooting and “war is hell”. On top of that several characters use BAR in full-auto without stock just for the kicks of it.

The movie spends some time on exposition, setting the character’s traits. It’s all made in cinematography, instead of text or dialogues, but also it’s written rather abrupt and obvious.

Despite all of that, the movie still works and don’t look particularly unrealistic. Thought it’s about a religious american nutjob in the first place.

If a nearest Call Of Duty doesn’t include a scene of shooting while being dragged by a medic as a vehicular section, what is even the point of the Call of Duty’s existence?

@темы: Hacksaw Ridge, Кино

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Grim Dawn – Ashes of Malmouth

A classic full-fledged expansion, which are usually mandatory for the genre. It adds two new classes, fifth act, vanity items and expands stash.

Going back into the game after some time highlights anew the same problem Sacred has — items have too much random minor meaningless stats. I couldn’t even remember what the point of my main build was. Even if i would, it’s still too autistic to try and calculate some average weight of all those stats. And the supposedly helpful DPS stat also counts all inserted gems and powders, so it absolutely useless when you try to compare your improved weapons to vanilla ones. Considering all that i decided to just play through the fifth act on base difficulty and call that a day.

The story and writing are tl;dnr, who even cares. Thematically you are just tying loose end with second enemy faction. And after you kill final boss — happens nothing. Not another ugly cut-scene, no non-diegetic congratulations, nothing. The game just goes on as if nothing happens. And while logically it’s not useful for gameplay, the player still feels the lack of catharsis. Also, the game must have more shortcuts, like the one which you use to skip chapter one. Why not let player rebuild the bridge in undead city, after you went through mind-dulling catacombs the first time? Why not make more of those?

The level cap was raised, but the game punishes you for playing past 50th level with diminishing skill points, which are anyway can be spent only on menial 0,000006% to bear posteriors kicking in the full moon with 5% chance of three-hand enchanted shovel. With tons of points being wasted on the mastery itself.

One of the two new classes is a heavy petting based one which should go nice with vanilla petting(s?), but considering the lack of point you can’t fill even one mastery. But just like in Titan Quest petting is broken — all enemies ignore your bestiality and attack only you. There is a way to somewhat avoid it, by not attacking at all, but then what is even the point of playing the most boring class?

The second one is finally focuses on dual pistols. But that is useful only for new players. Considering that you can respec everything, but the mastery itself, you can’t refit your old build. And everyone who wanted a dual pistol build already has one or more.

Well, in general, vanity items is a good decision. In the game set in this period and theme all high level items are just generic fantasy dresses, so if you want to rest from that style at least here, you finally can wear low-level cowboy jackets and hats. But then again, item progression varies your look a bit, but with this you have only one look forever — your favourite one.

Improving stash was a good decision, but it is a half measure, so we still need grim dawn vault. This genre just needs an infinitely expandable general stash common for all characters, otherwise you are forced to have an army of mules, as usual.

Well. The game is still quite fun for a single casual playthrough and the expansion is mandatory. It’s good, but at the same time it had to be better, it had to be great.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры, Grim Dawn

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Sir Terence David John Pratchett — Reaper Man

What do you do if you have two separate and entirely unrelated unfinished ideas? Apparently Reaper Man.

Just as always, Pratchett’s work is filled with abysmal self-congratulatory writing, with unjokes spanning whole pages, a ton of pop-culture-references and juvenoia. But this time it went even further. It’s like the awful The Godfather: Part II (but there at least both the prequel and the sequel were about crime stuff). Here we have two very tonally dissonant and entirely unrelated story-resembling objects.
One is humouresqueoid slapstick with awfully bad characters, described on par with school bully descriptions of nerds. It doesn’t make any sense and is all about those pesky meddling kids hanging out in the mall instead of buying low quality overpriced products from Ol’ Dirty Billy-Bob’s unwashed stall.
The second have some potential and even gives you a hope by touching on things, which can be great set-ups. And it has a little bit of less awful writing in the beginning, but more like “what would anyone else just write from the top of their head for such situation” than anything good. Alas, it’s just pseudo-philosophical musings about death, set into some western-like story with bar brawl fist-fight. It could have had the Kyubey treatment; it has another spooky scary progress in it, so we could have had mecha-death; or it could have at least treat the character of Death with respect. So far Death was more or less the mascot of the series and it was not like other incarnations, in other stories. But here Death reduced into the mundane and it was done against all character traits established in the previous events of the series. He even kept the small caps at his most human.
And of course both stories has no fitting conclusion and both end with random “and then it, like, ends, dude, like philosophically ends”.

I don’t know, is that a fad of its time or is this just Pratchett’s artistic language being so bad? Stopping mid phrase and having it being ended in the different place by the a different character starts to really grind my gears.

@темы: Sir Terence David John Pratchett, Discworld, Reaper Man, Книги

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The Philadelphia Experiment (1984)

A classic modest tame fish out of water sci-fi movie, sometimes kind of overdoing helicopter shots for no reason. The protagonist have it nice, for no cost skipped the worst years to get to the slightly less worst years.

@темы: The Philadelphia Experiment (1984), Кино

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Dead in Tombstone

A nice action-western movie with Trejo as a main star. It has okay cinematography and a bunch of men in pretty dusters.

Bad Milo!
...with a killer butthurt...

I do not know. Is it tries to be, like, metaphorical? But there is no metaphor, there are only events, and those events are a shlocky slasher trying to be a family relationship movie. It's not interesting at both and the characters which do know what is happening hide the vital information for no reason. Despite unusual premise it's pretty dumb watch.

The Foreigner
...so, about that new predator movie...

A very nice action-thriller IRA movie with the foreign element which is not necessary to the plot nor story, but turns a tame political thriller into a gritty action movie just because. The only thing the foreigner does is recontextualize would be protagonist Liam into kind of a stained asshole.
While the movie has more dark and somber tone, it still uses signature Chan's cinematography several times. Which kind of feels like it's dissonates, but actually does not do that.

Bullet Head
One, Two, Freddy's Coming For You

A very unusuall film. It starts like a slasher movie with a puppy being the hunter and slowly turns into we aren't so different you and i over a series of flashbacks from every major character, including and especially the puppy.
This movie does that great thing, when you take an established cinematography of the genre and apply it to the unusual for it story and characters. Though, they should've used colour filter for dog-o-vision.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Bad Milo!, Bullet Head, Dead in Tombstone, The Chinaman (1992), The Foreigner (2017), Кино

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Vanquish

An utmost generic american-style action game with cover-based third person shooting, heavily spruced up with movement mechanics. It's a pity that they don't synergize with anything at all. You can use it for movement or like a bullet-time, but it's useless for melee (since you can do only one punch per minute) and you can't use it to grab some ammo due to obviously abysmal controls for anything but the movement itself.

Guns are pretty generic: there are several versions of which mechanically is a generic assault rifle, a shotgun, a sniper rifle and a rocket launcher. Most guns which are slightly less generic is useless, like a spinning sawblade launcher, for example. They look okay though, if you are into the transforming weapons. There is a minor gun upgrade mechanic, but it's entirely broken, since it upgrades the guns you don't use. In the rocket-powered game it encourages backtracking and slow inventory management. And obviously cut-scenes are often throw you out of the area where you could loot some more stuff, because of course they are. And yes, there are cutscenes every couple of minutes, even if you only walked rocket-slided for a minute between them. And the cutscenes themselves are very stiff, jagged and strangely behaving. Either developers implemented them poorly or the cut-scenes conflict with the hardware. While the game itself runs rather good, thankfully. And of course there are QTE-driven semi-cutscenes. But since the QTE mechanic is conditioning the player to press any button on the screen, you can easily be stuck in the part where you need to place explosive charges and remotely detonate them, since the used GUI is the same. The end credits with some trash mini-game is not that bad of an idea.

While this is game is extremely wannabe 'murikan, it has distinct asian art-style, an unplot with non-tone, non-story and expectedly abysmal narrative, failing to marry the unevents with the gameplayoid substance. And all that has an unending, with no catharsis, while teasing the player about some bigger enemy.
The japanese VO is so dissonant with american-optimized lip-sync, that i just switched the voices to the english. And boi, do they sound like a bunch of butthurt old dudes discussing their constipation troubles.

Game runs just fine on UHD UWS Surround and you can even increase the FOV, i think. You need to use launch options in the object field for that.

Well, unlike the other garbage from the Platinum this one is at least a some kind of a game.

@темы: Vanquish, Компьютерные Игры, Индустрия Развлечений

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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic — Season 7

They finally really did it. You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

It’s the weakest season yet, not only it averages on very autistic characters making obviously very bad decisions, but also contains two of the worst episodes of the show, which are also ones of the worst in the whole medium. One is not just painfully bad, but propagates sleep-rape; the other is very obvious and boring, while saying that being a dishonest jerk is somehow a good thing. And every time the rest of the season has some good ideas or has Maud or Starlight in it, it manages to completely screw up endings, or tone, or the moral of the story.

And yet it has a better ending, where, finally, friendship is magic, and isn’t is beating the crap out of your enemies with rainbow coloured death rays. In some sense even yet another setup was better. It wasn’t as obvious as magic keys (for the most part) and yet it all came together in the end without being obnoxious. Though, if you hide your good parts in piles of garbage, even when you dig it out and assemble it back, it still reeks of decomposing waste. The last episode turned out to be quite good, despite the ex machina with the elements, but the first part of it had to be insufferably bad for it, with obviously extremely dumb decisions. And DOF is still a crap for fags.

Between it and the very bad movie, i wonder where it’s heading next. And, as always, you can say “well at least it’s not Adventure Time“.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, My Little Pony

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My Little Pony: Equestria Girls Specials

Even outside of big-er budget feature length movies Equestria Girls writing continues to be better than usual Friendship is Magic stuff. The first episode even surpasses the expectations in how the plot will go, rejecting the standard tropes of that genre. And the third finally makes a Sunset\Starlight crossover, while also having nice writing. The second one, though, is a mundane and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids mystery. It still works as a prelude to the third episode, but the break for titles means that it is a separate entity and not a long setup.

The fact that Starlight is referred to as a student and it was mentioned that only several months have passed after Friendship games, puts these somewhere before the recent seasons.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Equestria Girls, My Little Pony

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The Procedure

Фильм намного проще и беднее, чем его пытались мне продать. Для фильма одного актёра, актёрская игра вышла ну очень не убедительной. Впрочем из-за абсурдности ситуации он довольно забавен.

@темы: The Procedure, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Beyond Skyline

This is everything the first one had to be. It even manages to salvage everything good that was in the first one, the whole 20 seconds of that.

It is a one great action movie, the lead is XBONES (Frank Grillo), it has aliens, a veteran, the red LED, a jesus, ninjas, a machete, giant robots fighting, a hive, some wrestling and whole brofist. And on top of it, the cinematography, while not great, is rather servicable and shows all the great action in detail.

@темы: Skyline, Кинотеатр, Кино

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Monster High: Electrified

Hello lens flare, my unfriend
You came to torture me again.

Новая вселенная по прежнему не имеет смысла. Всё ещё не понятно зачем персонажей превратили в "лигу справедливости". Почему Лагуна (fish out of water) превратилась во Флеша? За что убрали Гулию и отдали её характеристики Френки? Почему Клео — Спайдер-мен?

Зато в этот раз есть полноценный сюжет, хоть и не самый лучший. Самое страшное, на что оказалась способна большая страшная злодейка —мелкое хулиганство не сравнимое с очередным проходом футбольных фанатиков. Она более опасна для "своих" монстров, чем для людей. Впрочем это немного понижает её злодейкость и более терпимо для Дракулы. Правда что он может сделать? В такой ситуации обычно родителей зовут и выплачивают штраф, а тут получается он получил себе на голову толпу сирот и школу-интернат. Так же выходят неловкие коннотации с "поганами мексикосами", учитывая что Моаника была выбрана злодеем не в самое удачное время.
Вся подветка с музыкальной группой так и не разрешена и может быть выкинута в отдельную унылую короткометражку.
У самого фильма неплохой, перегруженный неоном, стиль, но его сексизм указан даже самим персонажем — мужики так и не получили свою порцию неона. Хотя тут был большой простор для фантазии, которым, как кажется, оригинальная вселенная не упустила бы шанса воспользоваться. Можно было выдать ему платье и ему бы понравилось. Можно было бы выдать ему платье и он бы застеснялся, чтобы не смущать деревенщину с традиционными ценностями. Или можно было просто выдать ему нормальный неоновый костюм в любом стиле.

Уже лучше и красивее, но всё ещё не рядом с лучшими из старых полнометражек. И по-прежнему ощущается какая-то пустота, от примитивной буффонады, вместо умных шуток основанных на монстрах.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Monster High, Индустрия Развлечений

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Underverden

«...котором чуваку очень хочется, но никак не получается начать крошить хлебальники...»

Фильм, с плакатом на котором мужик выглядит будто только что снял свой лучший "расовый китайский порномультик" на самом деле довольно спокойный.
Кино с нечастой тематикой "кебабного" вопроса, по структуре пост-негров, так и не решилось на абсолютную драму с (((деконструкцией))), но и отказалось стать сильным боевиком. Несмотря на все задатки и неплохие съёмку и хореографию боевых сцен. Тем более использует совершенно необоснованный штамп со "вторым дыханием", хотя дядя доктор мог просто втихаря дознуться себе адреналином.

@темы: Underverden, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Black Butterfly

Довольно безумный медленный триллер о том как котёнок проснулся. На самом деле более лучшей концовкой было бы, если бы Бандерас обиделся на нежелание сотрудничать с ним, сказал что это его сюжет, и всё растворилось бы в дыму, вернувшись на тот момент где он решил бы не подбирать попутчика у дороги.

Из фильма можно выжать неплохую концепцию перемещения во времени. Каждый раз когда Бандерас делает глоток он просыпается в кровати. Надо довести этот транспорт будущего до абсолюта, где герой планомерно отказывается участвовать в событиях и переносится в будущее отпивая из бутылки и очухиваясь в будущем в кровати.

@темы: Black Butterfly, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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The Circle

Notorious hockor forchong talks about yester day.

Фильм, совершенно не выдерживающий ни одну из тональностей, стартует как сравнение современности с саентологией, продолжается страшным-жутиковым "влогингом", переходит в "троллирование" и завершается безморальным "Row Row Fight the Powah" и принятием "подзора" (sousveillance).
Из-за неуверенности в тоне у фильма нет сюжета и он мечется между несколькими концепциями. Для философского рассуждения он опоздал лет на двадцать и предназначен для седомудых старух в деревне без интернета. Всё происходящее можно было бы заменить серией коротких документалок, по событиям мохнатых десятилетий, нарезанных и перемешанных любым "ноланом" до создания иллюзии квазипоследовательности и тематической лжецелостности.

Как фильм всё вышло тоже не фонтан. В главной роли постная мина. FN-2187 похлопал её по плечу. Мина взорвалась. Вся техника и программное обеспечение слишком вылизаны и совершенно не угловаты, в отличии от корявых коммерческих продуктов на индусском коде. Вся фирма основана на том, как технические компании лишь хотят казаться и как "стартапы" не успешно пытаются делать. В то время как в реальной жизни у любой устоявшейся компании вся поддержка наёмная, а если и остаётся внутренней, то превращается в мясорубку первой волны ограждения для отсева ватаги пишущих и звонящих дебилов, детей и старух, чтобы сберечь время настоящих специалистов. С вытекающими стандартами компетенции и вежливости к клиентам.

Реальная современная жизнь довольно сбалансирована. Те кто хочет — уже давно в объятиях "подзора", те же кто хочет личной жизни, довольно легко могут уйти в тень. И любые градации и дозирование распространения между этими крайностями. Реальной проблемой остаются лишь мыслепреступление и спецслужбы.

@темы: The Circle, Кино