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So, how much did Depp pay to write it and star in it?
понедельник, 12 декабря 2016
воскресенье, 11 декабря 2016
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A great and refined dumb action movie with some style.
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Obviously amateur and wannabe stylish, but overall is an okay movie.
суббота, 10 декабря 2016
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Мельница попыталась сбавить обороты и сделать что-то посерьёзнее, но не доходящее до суицидальной депрессии, однако вляпалась в великодержавное скаленство и метафорический душный и душной аутизм. Смотрится всё это довольно печально и кибальчишево со всем вуду, особенно развязка.
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Straightforward and simple monster-movie which is heavily cited by the 1982 and 2011 movies.
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It is a barely tolerable prequel which ruins continuity, but not that much. It misses the tone and the point of the original pretty hard. Also it is epitomic to the decay of american cinema: from visual storytelling implying self-evidency and a good structure to bad cliches, copy paste, obligatory "big" events, running, absence of the sense of propriety, poor writing and a lack of any imagination.
Monster design goes from "the thing" style to generic "zombies-cthulhu-silent-hill-teeth-and-tongues" CGI style. Also early reveal and open attack goes against the whole point of "distrust in enclosed spaces" premise and switches from subtlety of original to (pointless and pathetic) obnoxiousness of the modern era.
Writing barely holds up, it's filled with "sсript says so", unnecessary characters and breaks continuity explicitly stated in the original movie. It's also frequently quotes the original without context, with knowledge or thought-process which these characters lack.
On top of all it has the worst title.
Monster design goes from "the thing" style to generic "zombies-cthulhu-silent-hill-teeth-and-tongues" CGI style. Also early reveal and open attack goes against the whole point of "distrust in enclosed spaces" premise and switches from subtlety of original to (pointless and pathetic) obnoxiousness of the modern era.
Writing barely holds up, it's filled with "sсript says so", unnecessary characters and breaks continuity explicitly stated in the original movie. It's also frequently quotes the original without context, with knowledge or thought-process which these characters lack.
On top of all it has the worst title.
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It is a great movie with great visuals, but it's somewhat dumb and absolutely laughable. The film features really good bookends, structurally inherent to that great era of american cinema.
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В этом фильме студия попробовала новый стиль анимации, напоминающий John R. Dilworth с изрядным гротеском (и голубей с сиськами). Постановка довольно неприятная, с традиционно ужасным юмором, в этот раз чересчур sleazy.
пятница, 09 декабря 2016
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Translated subtitles.
This is another adaptation of Двенадцать стульев, this one is from Cuba. It opens with a peculiar cartoon before going into the actual plot. It's interesting how it has some the same tropes as in Treze Cadeiras that are not present in the original. While translating a NÆPman comedy into Cuban post-revolution realities, they lost almost all satire on society and now this version is only making fun of the enemies of the state. And even at that it's much less morbid and cynical. Instead of being a multi-layered complex mega-swindler Oscar is just an opportunistic dude. And then there is an entirely out of place weird sugar cane scene, was it, like, pure propaganda?
This is another adaptation of Двенадцать стульев, this one is from Cuba. It opens with a peculiar cartoon before going into the actual plot. It's interesting how it has some the same tropes as in Treze Cadeiras that are not present in the original. While translating a NÆPman comedy into Cuban post-revolution realities, they lost almost all satire on society and now this version is only making fun of the enemies of the state. And even at that it's much less morbid and cynical. Instead of being a multi-layered complex mega-swindler Oscar is just an opportunistic dude. And then there is an entirely out of place weird sugar cane scene, was it, like, pure propaganda?
четверг, 08 декабря 2016
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An enjoyable corporate adventure-thriller with Tomer Sisley doing his smug OWO.
среда, 07 декабря 2016
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It is a pretty enjoyable CGI movie about the orks of the bible setting.
вторник, 06 декабря 2016
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Uh, so how did i miss RoboCop 4 through RoboCop 2013? I Have so much catching up to do.
It is a retarded pile of garbage in every possible way. It would be somewhat tolerable, if it wasn't an unsubtitled re-make\reboot. They should've called it Robocop 2050, Robocop XX, Robocop 2000 or whatever, anything would do. This is insulting and should never be tolerated.
Their music is unfitting and misguided. The core concepts are broken and all references are out of place and are only mocking the viewers aware of the original movie. They've even left the left arm intact, which was the whole point. In a real movie it's in one second depicts the cold corporate attitude towards an invalid veteran, who is treated as property and legally stripped of his humanity.
The story is pointless and meaningless, there is no corruption in the government and the corporation is doing everything right — red assets has no use.
It is a retarded pile of garbage in every possible way. It would be somewhat tolerable, if it wasn't an unsubtitled re-make\reboot. They should've called it Robocop 2050, Robocop XX, Robocop 2000 or whatever, anything would do. This is insulting and should never be tolerated.
Their music is unfitting and misguided. The core concepts are broken and all references are out of place and are only mocking the viewers aware of the original movie. They've even left the left arm intact, which was the whole point. In a real movie it's in one second depicts the cold corporate attitude towards an invalid veteran, who is treated as property and legally stripped of his humanity.
The story is pointless and meaningless, there is no corruption in the government and the corporation is doing everything right — red assets has no use.
понедельник, 05 декабря 2016
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Алёша Попович и Тугарин Змей
Видимо подумав что карлик нос и правда вышел суицидно печальным мельница решила превратить свои фильмы исключительно в шреков, и заранее подготовила свою BOGATYRY ANIMNATED UNIVERSE
Добрыня Никитич и Змей Горыныч
зачем у него три усинки? почему забава и гонец больше никогда не появлялись?
Илья Муромец и Соловей-Разбойник
предполагает защитные функции богатыря, но ему на самом деле пофиг что громить чужие земли что оборонять свои
Три богатыря и Шамаханская царица
вуаль совершенно не совпадает с формой без неё и вообще полупрозрачна
Три богатыря на дальних берегах
все характеристики богатырей забыти да и вообще этот фильм не имеет никакого смысла
Три богатыря. Ход конём
имеет некий потенциал но по сути всё та же петросянщина и богатыри забыли свои персоналии и суперсилы
Видимо подумав что карлик нос и правда вышел суицидно печальным мельница решила превратить свои фильмы исключительно в шреков, и заранее подготовила свою BOGATYRY ANIMNATED UNIVERSE
Добрыня Никитич и Змей Горыныч
зачем у него три усинки? почему забава и гонец больше никогда не появлялись?
Илья Муромец и Соловей-Разбойник
предполагает защитные функции богатыря, но ему на самом деле пофиг что громить чужие земли что оборонять свои
Три богатыря и Шамаханская царица
вуаль совершенно не совпадает с формой без неё и вообще полупрозрачна
Три богатыря на дальних берегах
все характеристики богатырей забыти да и вообще этот фильм не имеет никакого смысла
Три богатыря. Ход конём
имеет некий потенциал но по сути всё та же петросянщина и богатыри забыли свои персоналии и суперсилы
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It is a rather short (and it still overstays its welcome after the first 5 minutes) generic puzzle platformer with baby's first post-modern (which is from 1930's) garbage story-narrative dissonance and no meaning or idea why it even does exist.
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It is just more of the same and it's pretty good. They even managed to make the unnecessary continuation of the story ark plausible.
Uhm, wait. So P.C. cancer left people blind to the obvious fact that Thurman is a literally retarded character?
Uhm, wait. So P.C. cancer left people blind to the obvious fact that Thurman is a literally retarded character?
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Wow, this is just plain degenerate, disgustingly ugly and it is contradicting Disney's Reason and Emotion (basically saying that hitler is good). And it's demonizing office work filled with memes, Twitter, free internet and slacking. While real manual and conveyor workers slave away assembling iPhones for them. And that mindless beeping is probably an accurate representation of the enslaved sweatshop animators' work during the making of this short.
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Official russian translation.
Three out of ten: crap.
This statement has as much effort as they did put in the writing, the sсript, the narrative and the rest.
Let's make ethnic-centred cartoon! But let's use only the most generic millennial pop and garbage R'n'B, with crappy guitars instead of ethnic music. Like, i wouldn't expect Disney to make songs in native languages, despite vocals being the most culturally representative music instrument, with the language structures and such. But at least they could've made it pidgin, or use only local instruments. But no, what you will get is at best a heavily watered down takes on post-colonialist tourist-friendly music, and at worst attempts at 40s "white" musicals. You're Welcome has nice tune, and while Rock doesn't do bad job, he doesn't do a good job either. He sounds very flat, even despite actually trying to act in the song. Shiny is earwormy, but it's not fitting for the theme.
The film has the most basic story, without a speck of originality and is filled with embarrassing outdated shit in >>the current year. And no, you can't blame it on the source-material, all source material they ever use is quirky, strange, not structured by anglosphere rules, and very not "politically correct" or "age rated". Māui baited the fish with his own blood. And no, "family friendliness" is not an arguement. All source material is fairy tales, for kids. Disney has them sanitized, bowdlerized, with all morals and life-lessons removed from it, with any cultural background dissolved in modern yankeestan's "culture", which isn't even universal for the yankeestan itself, but for 3,5 suburban rich WASP soccer moms, probably from somewhere in california. Vaccines don't give kids autism, Disney's vacant no-effort repetitive stories do. Comic-reliefs, comic reliefs everywhere. Is Jar Jar the new ideal, and there have to be five to six of them everywhere?
The character designs are kind of okay, but the animated CGI cartoon has lens flare. It's as cinematographically and creatively void, as its story and music.
Перевод говно. Все песни плоские и мёртвые, Лагутенко наименее плох.
Three out of ten: crap.
This statement has as much effort as they did put in the writing, the sсript, the narrative and the rest.
Let's make ethnic-centred cartoon! But let's use only the most generic millennial pop and garbage R'n'B, with crappy guitars instead of ethnic music. Like, i wouldn't expect Disney to make songs in native languages, despite vocals being the most culturally representative music instrument, with the language structures and such. But at least they could've made it pidgin, or use only local instruments. But no, what you will get is at best a heavily watered down takes on post-colonialist tourist-friendly music, and at worst attempts at 40s "white" musicals. You're Welcome has nice tune, and while Rock doesn't do bad job, he doesn't do a good job either. He sounds very flat, even despite actually trying to act in the song. Shiny is earwormy, but it's not fitting for the theme.
The film has the most basic story, without a speck of originality and is filled with embarrassing outdated shit in >>the current year. And no, you can't blame it on the source-material, all source material they ever use is quirky, strange, not structured by anglosphere rules, and very not "politically correct" or "age rated". Māui baited the fish with his own blood. And no, "family friendliness" is not an arguement. All source material is fairy tales, for kids. Disney has them sanitized, bowdlerized, with all morals and life-lessons removed from it, with any cultural background dissolved in modern yankeestan's "culture", which isn't even universal for the yankeestan itself, but for 3,5 suburban rich WASP soccer moms, probably from somewhere in california. Vaccines don't give kids autism, Disney's vacant no-effort repetitive stories do. Comic-reliefs, comic reliefs everywhere. Is Jar Jar the new ideal, and there have to be five to six of them everywhere?
The character designs are kind of okay, but the animated CGI cartoon has lens flare. It's as cinematographically and creatively void, as its story and music.
Перевод говно. Все песни плоские и мёртвые, Лагутенко наименее плох.
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Pitt's dragon.
A slow family spy drama, which is too simple and is not like an ogre — it has too few layers for >>the current year. It is tolerable.
A slow family spy drama, which is too simple and is not like an ogre — it has too few layers for >>the current year. It is tolerable.
пятница, 02 декабря 2016
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Are you kidding me? It's a third in a row teen romance book. And with even worse writing than all books before it. Remember how i said that Mort's characters are whiny and unlikeable? Disregard that, i suck cocks. These here characters are even worse. These characters are those "d&d nerds" (and later MMO players and "weaboos") from any awful american media and a generic almost naked amazonian for his "nerd" needs. And they are written as if someone masturbates to the fact of how awful those characters are. Both in disgust, just to feel themselves better, and as a closeted gay republican, who would always scream how "god hates fags" and what those "sodomites" would do to "our precious, sweet, sweet, small, round, tight and bouncy children", in simultaneous superposition.
Even the Luggage, the second best recurring character, is entirely ruined. Absolutely haram.
There are, like, some specks of interesting writing, but that's entirely subjective, since i found them interesting only due to my personal background.
Even the Luggage, the second best recurring character, is entirely ruined. Absolutely haram.
There are, like, some specks of interesting writing, but that's entirely subjective, since i found them interesting only due to my personal background.
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Official russian translation.
This is the most tropey cliche tired zombie flick you can imagine. The characters are absolutely retarded and there are a ton of continuity errors.
Поезд в пукан (извините)
This is the most tropey cliche tired zombie flick you can imagine. The characters are absolutely retarded and there are a ton of continuity errors.
Поезд в пукан (извините)