28 панфиловцев

Despite the wailing and howling of the local libtards and conservocucks (that encouraged me to donate my 50₽ during the crowdfunding), this movie is not even pretending to be a real story, or to recreate the legendary half-fictional newspaper publication. And it is a good movie. It has good iconography, the action scenes are cool, the writing is solid.

It easily beats Fury's "War is bad m'kay, now grab her by the pussy!" by using the best positive parts of the soviet propaganda with fraternity of peoples and stuff.

Repostmodernism, last stand with no ammo and watching the sunset before credits included.

So, is anyone actually against the fraternity of peoples?

@темы: Кинотеатр, 28 панфиловцев, Кино

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пальтец сударь
ботинки нев йоркер

@темы: 0, Приобретения

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Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them

Official russian translation.

This is the best harru movie (if we don’t count Wingardium Leviosa), but that isn’t saying much, considering the average quality of harru movies.

It is still a dumb, autistic setting of a fascist world, it’s unfunny and have bad writing, it’s performed by ugly humies and CGI is laughable. Eddie Redmayne as always is strangely endearing, but kills that off by traditionally hamming the performance. His bad guys work much better.

But at least it’s mildly enjoyable, and coherent, while the action scenes don’t look as ridiculous as stick flinging of the eight previous films. It’s even somewhat specialist, with the protagonist defeating magic users with his summons.

Though, the ending is a pointless garbage and a total mess, which brings the whole thing down a notch.

@темы: Harry Potter, Кинотеатр, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Arrival (2016)

Official theatrical russian release.

Xenomorphic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future of 4th's dimension tesseract in the black hole of ((( L O V E )))-powered gravity strings, filled with sadistic killing egoism in creation of sentient life, to have no meaning and be destroyed without any trace of its existence, to have several years of the joyride.

A mediocre movie with the evaluation of the storyline being so awful, it makes it barely tolerable. Yep, that's how average normie yank would think one need to teach. Using pictograms, drawings, alphabet, and meanings? Nah, screw that! Those goobacks should learn english and use proper tenses (not even native speakers are aware of).

@темы: Кинотеатр, Arrival, Кино

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Underworld

Underworld
A 2000s edgy goth vampire action romance film with a structured world and a good ending. I have not seen it for some time, and despite it being a product of it's time it's memorable, strong and is more than a summer of it's parts.

Underworld: Evolution
A really convoluted and unmemorable film. I'm watching it for a second time and still unable to recall much. It's a straight up consequences type of a sequel which picks up right where the first film has ended. It's a tolerable watch if you won't try to make sense of it or aren't triggered by shaky cam cinematography.

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
It's an okay prequel film, but pivotal flashback scene from the first film is remade very inaccurately. The plot has a lot of inconsistency and the ending is dumb.

Underworld: Awakening
Despite not great action cinematography this film has fun plot, good action choreography and some interesting narrative decisions.

Underworld: Blood Wars
The ride never ends
This one is the dumbest of them all — world become completely incoherent, random and unreliable. The cinematography is shaky, but it's still fun and funny watch.

@темы: Кинотеатр, underworld, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Robin Hood (2010)

It is a very retarded, but enjoyable origin story, that fell victim to the modern destinyfication of every story.

@темы: robin hood, Энтропия, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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klocki

Warning: this game is below 30mins.

This is extremely good sliding puzzler with a lot of great mechanics. Mostly amazing graphics (the type of things from the last level should be smoother when combined). This great rewarding inception sound. And great level-design based tutorialization, without obnoxious explicit arrows, animations and texts.

The main problem is — small levels, which are very easy, and there are not much of them. You can blitz the game in less than half of an hour. Well, it costs slightly more than one loaf of bread (in our local pricing), and 30% of that money goes to the valve's pocket. By itself these several minutes of gameplay were worth the price. But if we consider the current meta, where you can buy for the same amount of money old full AAA release (or two) [like, for example, two great Commandos games], then this seems extremely expensive.
Also it doesn't have an ending, just like in old arcades — if you won it instantly starts over without warning.

So, before purchase, you should estimate how much you like tile sliding\switching\rotating puzzlers and just how cheap are you.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры

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Roogoo

Simple casual game which becomes really frantic and difficult in the second part. Gameplay is reminiscent of an education toy for todlers, it starts with just matching shapes, but adds more and more mechanics as it goes.

Downsides being — not good depth perception due to lack of proper shading, unclear states indication and ninjas, damn ninjas.

Buy one — get one.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры, Индустрия Развлечений

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Drive (2011)

Несмотря на культовую славу композиции Nightcall от Kavinsky — не стоит обнадёживаться, этот фильм снят тем же режиссёром что и у Neon Demon. Потому это сто минут безлицых манекенов молча делающих ничего. Абсолютная претенциозная скука и пустая трата времени с очень скучной синематографией.

@темы: Drive, Энтропия, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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The Mechanik (2005)

Несмотря на год производства фильм смотрится как типичный боевик девяностых и плачущих МОРПЕХОВ в нём не замечено.

@темы: The Mechanik, Кино

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Иван Царевич и Серый волк

Иван Царевич и Серый волк

Видимо почувствовав что они действительно переборщили с драмой в "Карлике носе", Мельница решила впечатлиться Shrek и начала делать примитивные постмодернистские пародийные сказки с глупыми шутками и отсылками. Начав с "Алёши Поповича и Тугарина Змея" она больше не слезала с дикого аттракциона.

Несмотря не средненький сюжет — повествование вышло ну очень унылым, а волк выступающий в качестве рассказчика постоянно обращается к зрителю, которого никто кроме него не видит.

Иван Царевич и Серый волк 2
Вместо того, чтобы развить свою идею с бородой и вдохновится несколькими сюжетами с venom\carnage из spider-man—картина просто топчется на месте, очень убого шутит и, на этот раз, добавляет какие-то совершенно ужасные, сюрреалистические, неуместные, фетишистские песни, которые не спасает даже смена стиля анимации (хотя и тоже спорная).

Иван Царевич и Серый волк 3
В целом, всё так же или более плохо, чем до этого, но благодаря использованию пугала (pumpkin jack) и сценарию от "Квартета И" с потугами на сатиру, выглядит это немного бодрее. Качество анимации упало, местами используется современный (дешёвый) "флешевый" метод.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Энтропия, Иван Царевич и Серый волк 2, Иван Царевич и Серый волк, BOGATYRY ANIMNATED UNIVERSE, Иван Царевич и Серый волк 3, Индустрия Развлечений, Иван-Царевич

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Карлик Нос

При большем бюджете Мельница показала, что она в состоянии делать качественную анимацию. Однако итоговый сценарий излишне драматичен, а песни просто ужасны не только по "субективному" качеству, но и по качеству самой записи\сведения.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Der Zwerg Nase, Карлик Нос, Индустрия Развлечений

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Приключения в Изумрудном городе

Низкобюджетная анимация с плохим кадрованием и синхронизацией. При том первые две серии находятся в проигрышном положении из-за того что слишком близки к оригиналу, многократно экранизированному с намного большим качеством. Что помогает вторым двум сериям, которые основаны на редко экранизируемых продолжениях, которые визуально довольно сюрреалистичны.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Волшебник Изумрудного города, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, Приключения в Изумрудном городе, Индустрия Развлечений

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The Smurfs (2011)
Очень глупая и неоригинальная картина, однако количество неуместностей спасают её от того чтобы быть невероятно скучной и\или стерильной. Ноль I'm Blue от Eiffel 65 из десяти.

The Smurfs 2 (2013)
Ещё более глупое продолжение, которое спасено только тем, что колдун на самом деле стал популярной звездой эстрады (то есть пугающей американских критиков "злонамеренностью").

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Smurfs, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Fast Five
It's finally became so dumb — it actually fun to watch. Also Han's suicidal tendencies.

Fastand Furious 6
They came from the dead. Interestingly: the less awful driving those have — the better they get!

Furious 7
This one was so fun it can even be recommended. Pity it has so much luggage, most of which is bad.
And ending sequence is so incredibly retarded. Что же ты меня живьём хорониш, гад.

@темы: The Fast and the Furious, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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The Fast and the Furious
Just as boring as i remember it to be and the plot is already fading from my memory again. Shaky cam and constant gearing and switching are, like, supposed to show you how fast they are driving. All peppered with bottom-feeder-gangsta memeberries.
Машины, притом, совершенно уродливые. Как впрочем и выбранные актёры. Притом музыка так часто сменяется и сливается в такую кашу, а все гонки проходят под "рёв моторов", что несмотря на кажущуюся не самую ужасную подборку — общая картина складывается удручающая.

2 Fast 2 Furious
Boring movie without Vin, which i remembered only one shot from. And i already can't remember what happened there, again.

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
The only standout movie from the first four due to drifting, but most terrible and retarded plot drags it down to the level of the rest.

Fast & Furious
Last time i watched it in cinematheatre and i even forgot there was Vin in this one. Also Han's cameo is laughable and rearranges the continuity for no reason.

@темы: The Fast and the Furious, Энтропия, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Trainspotting

Another drug movie which tries very hard to be hip and stylish, but instead is pretty boring and reeks of normies. It did some predictions though.

@темы: Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, Trainspotting

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Resident Evil

Resident Evil
Is a very good action movie with iconic scenes and great soundtrack.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Still pretty good, but has random side-character for no reason no one asked for. Also the amount of blurry slo-mo is kinda irritating. Music is still good.

Resident Evil: Extinction
And it continues to be fun to watch, though this one somewhat lacks RE flavour and feels like any generic zombie-apocalypse movie. And music continues to be good.

Resident Evil: Afterlife
It has the best continuation after the previous movie. And again music is good.

Resident Evil: Retribution
Wild ride never ends for poor Alice. This smart setup allowed them to have several major locations in one movie. Also, when generic people all over the world were infected they turned into zombies, but in the fatherland even in death — conscripts still serve. Critically lacks zombie-lenin.
Most signs even use correct russian, as if Jovović personally spellchecked them.
Despite being updated, music is still good and distinct.

@темы: Resident Evil, Кино

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Doctor Strange

Finally! We've got our Inception as it was advertised.

It is a pretty great movie. It is visually rich and has interesting characters with kinematography-appropriate powers. And the final boss is not yet another super-fistfight.

Though it's rather hard to watch on the big screen due to shaky cam, low FPS and giant amounts of blur.

@темы: marvel, Doctor Strange

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Sir Terence David John Pratchett — Mort

Oh, come on. Despite some potential, if you overthink it hard enough, it's a plain teen drama and teen romance (much more than Equal Rites) with no point nor resolution. And it portrays the most stereotypic and unlikeable teens you can imagine.

There is some of the Death, the most interesting character of the whole Discworld, but only in some bizarre way. And still, in less than a third of this book.

@темы: Sir Terence David John Pratchett, Книги, Индустрия Развлечений, discworld