Max Steel (2016)

Official russian translation.

It is a generic teen superhero origins story, witha retarded sidekick who can't shut up.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Энтропия, Max Steel, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Trolls (2016)

Official russian translation.

A really generic pessimist + optimist road trip teaching feeling cartoon. The writing is degenerate and it is filled with terrible jokes, half of which are scatological or mortilogical. There's some tiny bright moments here and there, but even those are overused and beaten more than a dead horse.

There's a couple of musical numbers the rest is filled with barely fitting excerpts from awful pop-songs. Sound of Silence, a song which withstood relentless mockery, and which is seems laughable anywhere, but still is sincere and powerful enough to be enjoyed at face value alone, is turned into cheerful unjoke. Some things have too much layers, but that mockery had zero, it was just dull and unfunny. They couldn't even steal a joke from internet properly. I Dovregubbens Hall is expected, and also is ruined. Unlike Reznor's simple version, this electric sound is pretty disgusting. Also usage of Clint Eastwood is cringy.

The best part of the whole thing is the hairy felt art-style. The usaized re-design is pathetic, and they are still not yet palatable enough. Especially i hate all non-uniformal new characters, who aren't even trolls. I mourn the loss of cultural weight of the originals, and the meaninglessness of stealing something popular due to its uniqueness and making it more generic. But still, the originals are quite ugly (sorry). Mine already is quite sanitized and that's still not enough. Making an entire feature-length cartoon out of leathery monsters would be a commercial suicide.
But then everything in the gretchin city is ugly, grimy and looks like a PlayStation game. Well, it's supposed to look ugly and grimy, but not low-quality.

I still dislike that this thing is overshadowing the originals, like the ugly G4 ponies killed the realistic ones.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Энтропия, Trolls, Gjol-trold, Индустрия Развлечений

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Синдбад: Пираты семи штормов

This cartoon have mostly okay animation and art-style. But the writing and pacing are pretty bad. The sound design is inadequate, the voice-acting is quite bad, the songs are despicable.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Энтропия, Sinbad the Sailor, Синдбад: Пираты семи штормов, Индустрия Развлечений

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The Accountant

It is not brilliant, but it is very good as a thriller, as an action and has interesting character. This is what all your bournes, reachers and mechanics should've been, the special mindset kind. Could use more buchhaltery puns, though.

Also it could make SJWs nice and cozy, showing bad-ass autism, while the movie advertises the destruction of the safe spaces.

@темы: Кинотеатр, The Accountant, Кино

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ParaNorman

Мусора бегают по ведьминому дому.

A generic spectral schoolkid’s ghost friends story check-listed by so many numbers — it will be enough for your afterlife. Because of course it is. And what all these stories have in common? The protagonists always suck it up instead of at least talking back. By which they are only lower their status even more.

It’s a very dumb movie filled with unfunny, and the pathetic whiny sсript is about people who ask for it. The vvitch was judged by law, vvitchcraft was illegal, she did openly participate in vvitchcraft in life and used curse class spells in death. The entire jury and the judge are absolutely entirely in the right. If you don’t like the laws of a country flee it while the border is open.
I can’t even try to pretend that the trial was unfair even if lawful. If i see someone get rich by stealing and then steal everything from their house, that would be fair, but that is illegal and for a reason. Laws are created in countries to be acceptable by majority, if laws are wrong and you don’t want to relocate, you can start your political career and change them following due process. Even the most wrong, evil and obviously immoral laws can’t fly if they are not supported by the majority, no matter the regime. As we can remember, people overthrew a lot of regimes lead by god’s chosen on earth. And the society in this film is a modern democratic free speech community. The biggest real problem is the slavery and the imprisonment of people below certain age, which doesn’t allow them to move to a better place with better community of more appropriate values. So would you argue that parents mustn’t have any control over kids and in turn are not required to feed them and be legally responsible for them?
Own survival is only own personal responsibility. Mockery in school exists to show you what is expected from you in an existing society, before you get into a real, legal trouble for that. If you want to be left alone you must learn to pretend, if you want to stand by your way you must get strong physically or emotionally. It may be unpleasant, sometimes even to the point of being subjected to minorest crimes, which are never punished anyway, but your life is in your hands. No one gonna serve you for free your entire life, just like you wouldn’t serve for free someone else.

Even on the technical level it’s not on par. The designs are outright ugly and the protagonist has 2000s alternative dork haircut. The picture has a lot of motion blur, which is cancer. And the biggest offense in this film is just how generic it is.

The vvorst part is that there are people vvho claim that it’s better than Coraline. Those should be trialed for the vvitchcraft.

After Kubo and now this, i think i want to get off Laika’s wild ride.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Энтропия, ParaNorman, Индустрия Развлечений

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幸腹グラフィティ (Kōfuku Gurafiti) (сериал)

Типичная "лирическая комедия" в поджанрах "готовка" (+"еда") и "одиночество=>друзяшки" с типичной для своего поколения анимацией, использующей очень много фотографий и съёмки под густым соусом PFX и мягкие неконтрастные губы для моментов когда раньше использовалась "старательная отрисовка". Вступление совершенно не подходит к тематике, а вступительная и закрывающая песни убоги. Сам сериал максимально близок к оригиналу, и из-за статичной анимации (ммм, да) редко когда может добавить что-то к тому, что автор оригинала мог выразить всего в четырёх кадрах. Тем более герои часто разговаривают или играют "на экран", показывая предметы прямо в "камеры". При том в отличии от среднего по поколению — это не разъяснения интересных фактов , обучение или разная занимательная информация по предмету. Впрочем в сериале и нету ничего, за что его можно не любить — он не перегружен плохими шутками и в нём нет дешёвой ДРАМЫ.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Kofuku Gurafiti, Индустрия Развлечений

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jack reacher

A detective movie with very nice premise and a strong opening, which is harmed by a lot of very dumb moments (like a three stooges slapstick action in bathroom). But in the end it's kind of notable for an attempt.

All the best parts seem to come from the books and all the dumb parts seem to be created for the film.

@темы: jack reacher, Кино

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Inferno (2016)

The first film was a tight and focused detective thriller. The second one was much more frantic, but still has a lot of investigation. While this one is still okay, professor Layton doesn't have enough puzzles. Most of the film the heroes just run around on wild chases. On top of that it has nothing to do with church conspiracies, so that's one less unique flavour to the mix.

@темы: The Da Vinci Code, Кинотеатр, Кино

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Kubo and the Two Strings

Official cinematheatre russian localization.

At some point your expensive low-tech is so good, that it just looks like bad hi-tech. Which is only reinforced by abundance of pointless VFX, so this film looks just like it's a low-framerate CGI underbudget TV show.

It has a very bad story with very bad pacing and is predictable from the start. It has a lot of dumb "jokes", while trying to be a soggy drama. It's not like it's an intrinsically bad decision, or they are jarringly conflict with each other here. It's just that in this case you have a perfect mix of very unfunny and rather boring. And it ends with brainwashing rape pill, yay. What is perceived as the one of the hardest moral choices, gets an immediate doubtless answer, presented as a core lesson of this story.

Overall, it's a borderline tolerable movie, and for some reason i've expected more from Laika.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Kubo and the Two Strings

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Jack Reacher: Never Go Back

All kicky mckickface and no detective work makes Jack a dull boy.

The second movie is mostly focused on the pure generic action, losing all USP of the first one. Also it has a second generic and dumb subplot with possible paternity.

@темы: Энтропия, jack reacher, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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The Mechanic (1972)

Ok, now when this one talks about special mindset it means it. So much, that the chase sequence feels out of place in this film about talking, anti-humanitarian behaviour and creating “accidental" kills.

@темы: mechanic, The Mechanic, Кино

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Sphere

It’s an okay sci-fyish tame horror movie.

@темы: Sphere, Кино

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Петька и Василий Иванович 2: Судный день

[review key provided by the publisher]

Enhanced re-release of (cult-) classic p&c referential comedic adventure game.

New (optional) control scheme cuts out all of the pointless pixel-hunting and dead-ends, leaving most of the content intact (old RMB menu is quite pretty) and isn't "streamlining" core mechanics. And backgrounds were expanded to fit 16:9 aspect ratio.

Game works just fine out of the box on UHD UWS Surround in fullscreen. Achievements are mostly story-related, but there are some of exploration-type ones.

It would be nice if there wes an option for animation speed in settings, since walking is really slow and some scenes are slow-paced.

/Interesting, this is a second old russian game i encountered, which using the same sound library as later was used by valve. Calculator sounds in the shop are very similar to that of steam's new chat message./

Собственно после HOPA становится понятно почему вымерли p&c и никогда уже не вернуться, несмотря на все условности и простенькие задачки HOPA по-прежнему обладают лучшим повествованием так как не используют постмодернистские разговоры персонажей с игроком, а так же благодаря отсутствию анимации ходьбы по экрану значительно повышают темп игры, удаляя мертвое время. Конкретно сюжет легендарных ПиВИЧей оказался вполне стандартным для своего времени набором глупых шуток и культурных отсылок, впрочем некоторые были довольно смешны своим абсурдизмом. Вот интересно как Бука обошлась с fair use, ведь то что работало в девяносто девятым на физических носителях, в >>current year на цифровых уже не прокатит.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры, ПиВИЧ, Индустрия Развлечений

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

It has one hour of plot stretched to four hours of incoherent inconsequential video with bad make-up. And it even has nothing to do with the deathly hallows themselves at all.

@темы: Harry Potter, Кино

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Storks

Official russian translation.

This film has one joke repeated six times and two hours of embarrassing shit. Capitalism man bad.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Storks

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Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Is the worst one so far. It has absolutely no plot, while writing is awful and makes no sense. All characters act out of the sсript, function like RNGs, and can't converse like humie beings. It's like aliens stole some human skin and try to blend in, not knowing that everyone in the crowd is also an alien who stole humie skin and tries to blend in.

It's a confusing pointless bore to watch.

@темы: Harry Potter, Энтропия, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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The Magnificent Seven (2016)

New The Magnificent Seven will please every Trump's voter with unprecedented amounts of racism — they whitewashed every mexican out of the movie.

But seriously, first movie has a better moral.
It was focused on the simple life of farmers, which will remain, while cowboys come and go and are no different from the outlaws. It had a full ark for the "kid", and showed him that there is nothing wrong with being a farmer with a wife instead of an adventurer without one.
New one is exactly what first movie was ((("deconstructing"))) — it's a "cowboys rode into sunset" movie, and no one wants to be a dumb farmer.

But movies are not tales, movies are visual medium, and using "gotta catch 'em all" captain planet PC racist stereotypes cast gave every of the main heroes personality (even if token one) and distinguished them from each other. Despite being smarter overall, original had a "kid", a "bald", and 5 "dads", one of whom had PTSD, but you can't tell which one, since all of the "dads" did look the same and didn't had enough screen time per "dad" to truly remember their quirks and characters. Though remake chickened out of calling "jane who got a gun" the real member of the seven after Hawke's character chickened out. At least that would be a statement; but of course he came back, because the genre and because it was in the original. On top of multiple distinct characters, remake has modern action cinematography, which much improved "dumb excitement" techniques, compared to the 60s, and all of the dumb scenes at least are fun, while being mostly tolerable in quality.

So, despite being dumber and inferior tale, in the end it is a slightly better movie.

@темы: The Magnificent Seven, Кинотеатр, Seven Samurai, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

It is a tolerable xmen+harru potter movie with Burton's daddy issues and awful dumb writing.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, Кино

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Коллектор

It is a nice movie in the one-man paranoid triller genre. character is interesting and Хабенский is a really good actor. Also it is answering the demand on the hot topic.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Коллектор, Кино

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Krampus (2015)

It is kinda a good movie, but it's totally a kids' movie. Also Krampus himself looks like crap — his minions have cool animatronics and he is an actor with a rubber mask.

During the shouting there are bizarre issues with the framerate. And in the opening the characters are watching a 4:3 movie stretched to 16:9. They deserve to be eaten by demons.

@темы: Krampus, Кино