The Secret Life of Pets

Official russian translation.

Dumb, tired, retarded and boring The Incredible Journey clone, filled with shite, made by incompetent idiots, with motion blur and lens flares in CGI.

The trailer had, like, a couple of okay jokes in it.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Энтропия, The Secret Life of Pets, Индустрия Развлечений

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Mower Minions

It is the worst minion thing i saw. Even minion movie had some good scenes, but this one is flat, boring and unimaginative.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, despicable me, Энтропия, Индустрия Развлечений

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War Dogs (2016)

starts with style but instead of making it visual motif it abandons it to become mediocre lord of war IN THE INTERNETS
"based on a true story"
mecha hitler is also "based" on a true story
also every part about their (((families))) are insignificant to the story and could be left out instead of pointing fingers as usual

@темы: 0, Кинотеатр, War Dogs, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Aloha (2015)

It is a toothless movie trying to be something like Mike Judge’s movies.

So usa’s nuclear NASA is good but SpaceX and its likes are the bad guys? Ha-ha. Of course.

@темы: Энтропия, Aloha, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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The Mechanic (2011)

This remake has a great opening scene, but the rest is just another dumb action movie with Statham. Instead of proper Hitman-like one, it tries to pretend to be.

Also protagonist's motivations are all over the place.

@темы: Mechanic, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Mechanic: Resurrection

Official russian translation.

It has a much worse story (save the gril, help the orphans), but a much better writing. Finally, he not just talks about preparation, but actually does his homework and plays Hitman (even if lousy), instead of running in guns blazing and being confused with his feelings. Though, it lost some of that, which resembled "style" in the remake.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Mechanic, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Ночные стражи

ночные стражи is not as crazy as it can be suspected from the trailer and don Jean Ярмо is not that colourful of the character. it has mediocre vfx not very great spound design, which feels like it's translation and not original audiotrack (that makes it mediocre from our pov) tries to have sounding ost, and even leitmotiff (or two?) but i strongly dislike that music. character ark which ends with confusion is pretty ok for this story

the biggest problem is the cultural background. it tries to use local folklore to give it a nice flavour, but character refers to men in black while much better movie title to describe that situation would be ночной дозор which was pretty big cultural event in it's time. it even looks better and has a lot of memorable "scenes" instead of just one. next, they all use outdated generic weoponry familiar to NATO population instead of local АК74М\АКС74У\РПК74 equally iconic for foreign audiences and some unusual-looking "fantasy" designs of ПП-2000 ПП-90 or ПП19 (АК based SMG with helical magazine)
even machineguns are gatling multibarrel type instead of locally preffered multicannons. and the city is absolutely generic-looking skyline without any moscow sights. only metro map is similar to the moscow's one

it's ok

@темы: 0, Кинотеатр, Ночные стражи, Энтропия, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Nightmares from the Deep 3: Davy Jones

Third game in the series feels likу it somewhat shies away from HO, switching core word-object type to find-image-parts in half of the instances. On the one hand it's slightly improves narrative, but on the other hand it's much less challenging than classic type.

This time half of the talking scenes feel very uncanny because of the morph animation technique used on faces.

Otherwise it's just the same as the previous two and equally good.

@темы: Nightmares from the Deep, Компьютерные Игры

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Yosumin!

Very simple, very hard and very luck-based tile-matching casual puzzle game. Sound-design is pretty good.

Well, it is one, either you need it for your own reasons or you don't need one. It's grindy, but in working order and is manageable.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры, Индустрия Развлечений

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Диггеры

The film has traditionally weak and disjointed setup, but actually interesting sсript. Though with a couple of plothole-level pointless hick-ups, to make certain genre-"scenes" happen. Movie features some almost good cinematography, without hipster garbage, and half-good-half-wasted-potential sound design. But not as wasted as mad max furry road.
Narrative is a "puzzle" type and just like with "Memento", one could wonder, will it be as good, if one unfold all the storytelling envelopes and play it straight.

It looks rather cheap and trashy, but overall it's enjoyable and pays off in the end.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Диггеры, Кино

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Pete's Dragon (2016)

It is yet another disney remake. It's mostly not embarrassing or disjointed, but it's so tired that it feels like 30min long. It's so boring that it'll try to bore you to sleep.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Pete's Dragon, Кино

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Quo vado?

Film returned me to my childhood of italian & french comedies and reminded that comedies can be geniuunly funny and not just fart jokes and degenerate references.

Hollywood and movies beloved by modern americans killed my will to watch movies.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Quo vado?, Кино

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Sir Terence David John Pratchett — The Colour of Magic, The Light Fantastic

Reading this after watching the Terry Pratchett’s The Colour of Magic is strange. I don’t really remember much from the movie, but at the same time, things which were fun there are kinda trivial here. Also i can’t really recall all of the events being adapted into film.

The Death is not what i expected it to be, after the other books.

It’s first (two) Discworld books and he is not there yet as an author? Maybe? I guess?
Well… It is kind of… Underwhelming.

@темы: Sir Terence David John Pratchett, The Light Fantastic, The Colour of Magic, Книги, Индустрия Развлечений, discworld

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Brigador (original)

It is a Hardcore modern battletech-from-sega-like (isometric mech sim). Could use a campaign mode with progression and shopping for vechicles and guns and proper narrative.
But still best game of the year 2016.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры, Brigador

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captain forever remix

It is a block-constructing top-down space combat roguelite. The constructing part is mediocre, options are limited, and there is only one successful design. Meanwhile, the strict time limit destroys the most fun part of such games — engineering. The combat is really poor and the best option is to use something with the longest range and do a lot of kiting. The art-style of the game is clean and unremarkable, the art-style of the story is something out of the Klasky Csupo i.e. incredibly ugly. The story itself is primitive and almost unexistent, while the writing is irritating and talking heads take a significant part of the screen, so you can't see where are you shooting.

Overall it's an ok game for one successful session. But then i could never play the other starter kits. I would actually like a game like this, if it was made good.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры, captain forever, Индустрия Развлечений

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Bad Bots

Absolutely basic and mediocre game in the genre. Despite being short (<3h) it overstays it's welcome rather soon and feels like whole 6 to 7 hours of tedium.
Works ok with the UHD UWS Surround, artstyle is also ok, but animation is janky.
The game doesn't have customizable keys and default controls are awful. Kinesthetics feels unresponsive due to every animation being played till the end and some utilitarian actions being incompatible with others. Probably because of that you always get stuck on ladders. Also be prepared to constant cheap stun-lock, since there is no "1-second ghost" while in boss battles damage is unavoidable. Final boss is a cheap crab-show of hit-scan area damage and randomness (without pattern) with constant stun-lock. It's very luck-based even on easiest and it's never even remotely fair. After which you can enjoy really long tight corridor filled with hit-scan bots and not much health packs.

Story is dumb and extremely predictable, which is also intentional, since it was made by the rules of Anglosphere Tropes 101; Book 1; Chapter 1. Intentionally bad writing is bad.

It could be a serviceable game, but dev thinks that listed above problems are features and not problems at all, and therefore is not intended to fix it. Also it's 3 years after release already.

@темы: Энтропия, Компьютерные Игры, Индустрия Развлечений

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Suicide Squad

While obviously not perfect, Suicide Squad is enjoyable and really fun. In that sense it's somewhere on par with deadpool. I was falling asleep dead tired, but it kept me up the entire run-time.

The most jarring thing is the musical vinegret. Soundtrack selection is great, but it’s so all over the place as if it's 13 yo's first social network profile. It can't decide what to highlight first, a it just vomits all of the titles it can remember, switching to next one while current one is still in the middle.
It would be better to choose a couple of songs from one artist or in one style or genre and use them like leitmotif. Or better yet create appropriate covers to them.

Otherwise, people who say it's worse than Marvel's serviceable junk food can go watch fucking Ghostbusters (2016) they deserve.

Men of 430FSe was dumb, pretentious and incoherent, but watchable and pretty. BvS was kewl, offered new takes on characters and was improvedd by Jesse playing slightly twitchier himself. But ⚡⚡ is a straightforward simple story with somewhat less tropey and stale narrative.

War is peace. Less tropes is bad.

@темы: Кинотеатр, DC comics, Suicide Squad, Кино

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极地大反攻 (Jídì dà fǎngōng [?])

The CGI animated movie translated as Polar Adventure is a low-budget low-poly low-textures low-brow cartoon with out of place good particles-physics and a bizarre art-style.

Also features an awful recap of the previous whole movie in cuts out of order in the middle. It seems like that is an established Chinese cinematographic trope, because i already saw it being used in the 龙在哪里 (Long zai na li).

If the story was better, or if someone would cut out all of the garbage and awful musical sequence — it would be a tolerable bizarro experience, but as is it is pretty bad.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Энтропия, Jidi da fangong, Индустрия Развлечений

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Blinky Bill the Movie

Official russian translation

i did nazi that coming

It is a mediocre and tolerable CGI cartoon. It looks okay and the furs are okay.
The heroes often going 4WD is its biggest advantage — making cartoons about non-humans, but making them use entirely human kinaesthetics is dumb.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Blinky Bill, Индустрия Развлечений

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龙在哪里 (Long zai na li)

A CGI animated movie, which is as dumb as any amerikan cartoon, but it has a chinese story and narrative, therefore it is less tiresome to watch. Though, i think with overexposure they would be equal.

It’s medium budgeted and with uneven distribution. Some furs look just great, while other furs are basic flats. Should’ve either make all furs plain textures or all furs fully modeled, for tonal consistency.

For some reason it has a retarded very long flashback sequence in the middle, showing you what you just saw in the last hour. And it seems it’s a common element in the chinese animation. Is it an ancient chinese secret for retarded adhd humie maggots?

Also the song in the ending is absolutely awful. If someone would make a recut without pointless flashback and without that song, it’ll be an ok cartoon.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Long zai na li, Индустрия Развлечений