Ratchet and Clank

Official russian translation.

It looks amazing as if it is featured in 4k or above, but the writing is utterly mediocre (and mediocre level nowadays is set at "abysmal" grade), on top of that the localization is just plain awful. The main characters are a whiny MARINE rookie and an unlikeable borefest perisher. That's not just because of localization — their movement, animation, cinematography are that of a whiny MARINE rookie and an unlikeable borefest perisher. Even the pretentious space cuckengers, the evil redshirts, the evil genius, the bullied engineer and the CEO are each has more personality than the two leads combined.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Ratchet and Clank

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The Walk (2015)

It is yet another amerikan fake "true story" pile of tropes and tired amerikan visual narrative with unbearably fake accents and forced diegetic excuses to speak english. It is filled to the brim with tropey super fake set-ups none of which have a punch-line. Ok, you can pretend that viewers are dumb enough to believe the french parts, the math parts, even the sсript parts of the movie. But you have to be brain dead retarded to believe the foot part. Firstly, a nail would never pierce through a foot. Second, it would be stuck in the bone in that place. Third, there would never be a single drop of blood, that's why you have to instantly ride to the doctor or cut yourself open, and that leg would be swollen for two weeks with pain preventing you from walking.

You can't have both, either you have unwalkable pain or it's already fully healed (or you are already the best breakdancer with Tetanus). Well, and obviously it has nothing to do with the real story and it's unbearably boring to watch in itself. It's amerikan visual narrative filled with obnoxious boring amerikan symbolism, nobody outside of amerika ever cared for in best cases and openly laughed at in the "worst".

@темы: the walk, Кино

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High Rise

The film is kinda fun to watch and it has really good sound design and music. It's better than indie\oppositioin scene(s) and much more cohesive.

But in itself, it is still a pretentious metaphorical cuckery, touching on subjects that were already touched in inappropriate places by everyone and in better forms. There is no point to make a metaphor when it can be said allegorically. And it doesn't even have a cohesive enough visual narrative to get the point across. It's not as bad as Lynch's artistic vomit, but you have to know the pretentious cuckcrowd to get what\why is happening on the screen and which truisms they want to tell you this time. Though, they didn't manage to tell viewers his opinion on the subject clearly. Did they mean that capitalism is bad? They clearly didn't mean that socialism is good. The only thing which is descriminable is that the middle class can adapt and survive just like roaches and rats. But what future they prepared for the symbolic kid?

@темы: Кинотеатр, High Rise, Кино

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Les Visiteurs : La Révolution

Official russian translation

It is just a primitive comedy, continuing the story and even diegetically enveloping the fact that the dumb yankee re-make set them back for almost twenty years.

It's not the second coming, but it's faithful to the originals and the french visual narrative is a breath of fresh air in a swamp of yankee writing.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Les Visiteurs, Кино

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R.I.P.D.

This is a one damn fun movie. It's already a great comedy, but it could be better if it had more scenes with the alternative actors. And more choreographed fights, with rapid weapon switching, like in Wanted, would be nice.

@темы: R.I.P.D., Кино

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The Jungle Book (2016)

It's an amazingly retarded fugly mess, with incoherent tone and following recent fad on the origin stories. Ironically it attempts to tell the story of an identity crisis, while having one. It has both dumb songs from The Jungle Book (1967) and wannaby edgy grimdark plot. That is dumb. It is made dumb. The changes to the story are dumb. Everyone should watch it, it has to be seen to be believed.

Also in american movies, even tigers explode in flames if they fell down! And there will be yet another movie based on the The Jungle Book in 2018 and also with a female Kaa. Just wow, anglosphere is devoid of ANY original ideas and even refuses to tackle less overused IPs.

@темы: Энтропия, The Jungle Book, The Jungle Book (2016), Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Хардкор

Хардкор is the best movie of the year and one of the best action movies of all time. Art is about experimenting with new narratives and diverse stories, not about retreading old tropes about amurican marines surviving holocaust and crying with their slaves about slavery. That doesn't bring anything new to the table, while Хардкор does. One hundred out of ten, would have its children.

I never liked the original videos for Bad Motherfucker and Stampede, partially due to the bad music. But third time's the charm. With previous experience, bigger budget, better narrative and at least a little bit deeper story, supported by the great actors, it finally flourished. At least the theatrical run was censored and the movie could be improved with better nudity — mature people don't shy away from it, like peeking giggling teens. Sharlto Copley is a god-tier actor, it's like he took the part on condition that he could do whatever he likes.

Still more choreographed fights with rapid switching of empty weapons, just like in the Wanted, would be nice.

I didn't notice anything, what anglosphere "critics" were talking about. Probably they just lack cultural understanding (or more likely basic understanding of juxtaposition, even slightly different from tropes). Also americans are seem to be very prone to motion sickness. Not only i didn't notice any, it's plain unheard of, to get motion sickness from flat screens in these parts.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Хардкор, Кино

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Half-Life: Before

Крохотный уровень с неловкой планировкой и застреванием в геометрии. Зато бесплатный.

@темы: Half-Life, Компьютерные Игры

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Трудно быть богом (2013)

Трудно быть зелёным слоником. Без хорошего знания оригинальной книги понять что-либо в этих трёх часах замеса глины очень сложно. Выкинуты депрессивные диалоги и монологи и заменены пропагандистскую клоунаду против никого.

@темы: Трудно быть богом, Кино

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Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Продолжение Man of Steel с депрессивным убивающим ватманом и дико клёвым "неканоничным" Лютером.
Простенько, но развлекательно.

@темы: DC Comics, batman, Кинотеатр, superman, DC, wonder woman, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Jane Got a Gun

Official russian translation.

This thing delivers 0 feminism out of 10. The male men did everything instead of her. So much not a Xena.

In itself, it's just a mediocre western movie.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Jane Got a Gun, Кино

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Christopher Priest — The Inverted World

Yet another voodoo-magic from Priest. It's not very interesting as a concept and you understand rather fast that the truth is very stupid. In times this science fiction book has a narrative of a bad trip akin to 99 Francs or Fear and Loathing. It's not the worst thing, and as a whole it's tolerable. But i can't get over just how absolutely stupid is this thing and how it just doesn't work.

I believe with such reliance on unconventional imagery you can actually make a really good visual film out of it. And the eye candy would help with suspension of disbelief immensely. The bad trip scene would be a centrepiece and with proper execution can be an iconic moment for cinema. But as a book, in the medium where narration happens through other channels this isn't any good as a concept and isn't a good read.

@темы: Christopher Priest, Книги

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Grimsby

Official russian translation

It starts like a really cool 2015+ action movie, with first-person shots and hi-tech equipment, only to get bukakked all over by Sacha Baron Cohen in the middle, with increasing volume, until it actually starts to be rather funny (but totally crass) in the final third. Mark Strong is very impressive.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Grimsby, Кино

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Левиафан (2014)

Отвратительно претенциозный трешняк, удивительным образом сочетающий в себе показушный закос под взрослскость, примитивную обыденность, недоработанную одномерность искусственных персонажей вместо людей, с экспортными расовыми стереотипами, без какого-либо смысла или идеи и безмерно любительской кинематографией, не способной определится с построением сцены или символизмом. Всё на уровне домохозяйки с мыльницей, впервые оказавшейся в горах и щёлкающей любую "природу" наугад. При том Звягинцев не смог определится какая же концовка ему нравится больше и потому он впихнул их все девять в ряд (далее первой ни одна не подходит и не все ставят точку и\или предоставляют какой-либо катарсис), собирая финальный аккорд из любительской мазни с "природой" и пропагандой (?) религиозной бредятины и\или оправданием церковного стяжательства.

Так оно ещё оказывается интерпретацией истории c Job. В общем тех кто советовал сливать время на эту отупленную версию ежедневной действительности, с одномерными персонажами, за кураторов не считать. А учитывая номинации на англосферные премии, экспорт чернухи про карикатурное бухло и коррупцию с фальшивой руснёй продался неплохо. Абсолютно рекламная статья в википедии какбы "намекаэ".

@темы: Левиафан (2014), Кино

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西游记之大圣归来 (Xi you ji zhi da sheng gui lai)

Official russian translation.

Wow. This thing actually has so much 3D that i almost believed in 3D cinema. But it is still filled with 2D post-FX ruining the whole thing. It's a really stylish film with proper textures, models and more framerate than you usually get (would look great in 300 FPS). But blur, lens flare, other trash and entirely non-volumetric fog crush the picture flat. If that, flame and dust were removed and it actually was rendered in HFR, it would be worth seeing it in 3D. Oh, and all water looks terrible. Basically, this film could've been entirely fixed with PhysX.

Pity, that it is also a very crass and dumb comedy, so it's not advisable to see.

Перевод дикое убожество, традиционно слит AFX и сцена, актёры просто убогие, так ещё и ощущение что лили его с готового английского перевода. Самый треш это когда записаны реплики на моменты где персонажи очевидно молчат.

@темы: Journey to the West, Кинотеатр, Xi you ji zhi da sheng gui lai, Кино

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Сокровища Монтесумы 5

[Review key provided by the publisher]
I only played TTOM3, so i'll mostly compare it to that game, without context of the rest of the series.

The Treasures of Montezuma is a fast, flashy, challenging match-three game with a lot of bonuses and upgrades.
In this installment the graphics ware switched to more bouncy and cartoony, while the gems remained very elaborate, which i don't really like. It seems like they tried to add some story, but abandoned that idea after obnoxious mobile-level restricting tutorial. Playing field is still cluttered and noisy, but super-score now is not that intrusive, on the flip side, now it's not as obvious as before, so you have to use audio cues to track it. Also it seems like it has a lot of f2p rudiments. Core scoring system became much easier, there are several money-grind levels, so you can buy more power-ups retrying failed main level. But again, because of that, green statue became super OP on the early levels.

Works fine with nvidia surround. Unlike 3rd game this one works very stable.

Despite all the flaws it's one of the more challenging and complex games in the genre, while being definitely finite, which pleases my inner completionist and gives me incentive to play it. Finished it in one 7 hour sitting.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры, Сокровища Монтесумы, The Treasures of Montezuma

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Deadpool (2016)

A modern superhero movie, but based on post-modernistic IP, with all that it entails. It is noticeably small and mid-budget — despite taking place in the Earth-TRN414\Earth-10005 continuity, it features no main characters from it and has only two b-grade X-men members (which, of course, is pointed out by the protagonist).

It's mostly generic and formulaic, if utilitarian, but i love how it is basically a kind of rated R for cartoony violence romance movie in it's core. And unlike other post-modernist cinema it is much more coherent and has actual story and its progression.

Localization was not horrendously bad, but as always, with completely sanitized language.

@темы: Deadpool, Кинотеатр, marvel, Кино, x-men

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Home (2015)

This thing was on the list of the worst animated movies of the year of some YouTuber. And well, it’s only slightly worse than Inside Out. Yet, some people say this is one of the worst of 2015 and Inside Out is the best. Well, that’s racism, because the lead of Home is PoC, while Joy is a white nazist, who dictates everyone else.

It’s a generic Dreamworks drab, though there are a couple of not terrible scenes.

Also shipping PoC with whites is not the same as shipping humans with sheep (which is illegal).

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Home (2015)

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Zootopia

OwO What's This?

From the trailers i expected it to be some retarded cop+con buddy movie with awful jokes made for kids and furfags. But it turned out to be even worse.

The animation and graphics are okay and everything is semi-cute, but the system of the things is so broken and convoluted, with deviant implications. And it's never even addressed, while depicted in full frontal. And it's so focused on very specific flavour of racial tensions, that it's some utterly backyard-local thing (and only applicable to the current situation). Twenty years down the line (or in any other country on the earth right now) it would be seen utterly bizarre and broken, since racial tensions depicted in the movie don't apply anywhere outside of context of exclusively american history (X).

And if they mean not racial tensions, but the "other" ones, well it failed bizarrely at it. Which makes it even worse, because being born "wrong" is not the same as personal choice to be wrong or wrongly wrong, which is even worse.

It seems that everyone agrees that the carnivores are supposed to be a metaphor for africans. Well, you know, carnivores are born that way, it is inherent to their nature. And africans are just people, who never had been so massively dangerous to the non-africans, as the carnivores to the herbivores. Carnivores are the minority, while africans are giant chunk of earth's population.
So what exactly do carnivores eat? You know that fish (and plankton, and proteins from the sea) and insects are animals too? With biodiversity of population, it's just the same as people eating monkeys. And there is a lot of the furniture made out of citizens. Inconsistency in sizes and anatomy is distracting and it exists due to cowardly cheap cop-out. You know when you use anthropomorphic animals, you ether do not go into any detail and the Donald Duck is eating chicken, or you explain all of the bizarre world-mechanics diegetically.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4xytsouUYo

The plot is bad too, they are trying to depict how our heroes are good, but actually we have a corrupt cop being entangled with mafia (and criminals) in terrible pop-culture references, who use illegal methods to pressure the people who are not even suspects yet, without any order. The scene with the muzzle makes no sense. They don't have pets, for them a muzzle have totally different narrative than for the audience. That's just some obscure medical equipment and not something about furson rights. Also how did young kids managed to get their paws on a child-size medical restraint mask? Shakira playing the Adelle is as arse backwards, as you can go, that's second-hand embarrassing and humiliating.
— Hi, a singer, can you play a role of, a singer, which we really, really wanted, but didn't manage to get, without any re-writes?

Shipping a white human with a brown human is not the same as shipping, say, a human with a sheep (which is mostly illegal). By which i mean Leporidae from Lagomorpha don't really fit with the Vulpes vulpes which is Carnivora.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Zootopia

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Creature (1998)

I saw most of this thing in my childhood and was kinda impressed. So i hunted it down and we watched it with my dawg.

It turned out to be rather junky and low budget. Some motivations are never explained, some minor acting is laughable. But it was worth it for the shark with pecks and for the really cool costume.

@темы: Creature (1998), Кино