01:20

Quake II

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For my whole life i've played only the multiplayer, and a lot of it. I did try to play the singleplayer several times, but was bored and lost in brown corridors. Also i didn't know much english at the time. Finally, i've decided to see it throw and now i understand why people didn't revolt when Medal of Honors and Call of Dutys came to be. I though that they are retarded kids of the Return to Castle Wolfenstein, but it turns out the first Medal of Honor precedes it by two years. Well, now i see that a ton of most annoying and most criticized design decisions were made back in Quake 2, after John Romero has parted with id Software.

We have terrible intro and radio chatter. We have boring mc'boringface MARINES. We have weapons being dull, grey and ugly hit-scans. Only hyperblaster and railgun have interesting projectiles' design. We have terrible hand grenades. We have giant disparity in gameplay between SP and MP. We have almost entire enemy roster being occupied by enemy a little bit ᴄ ʏ ʙ ᴇ ʀ MARINES with mostly hit-scan weapons. We have enemies which just refuse to be dead. When he falls on the floor, you continue to run forward, only to get shot by a supposedly dead mob in the back. There was similar problem in the Duke Nukem 3D, but there only one type of enemies did that. We have unending generic intestine brown corridors, with uninspired level-design. And of course, in a linear shooter, we have an occasional hub, which requires you to backtrack and return to the previous level through a loading screen. Like, i'm not entirely against such thin, but player doesn't have to check a separate menu, to see what to do. There always must be a clear goal. Doom always contained backtracking in borders of one level and had a map. So there was a clear current goal and no finality of a loading scree. But here you have to load a new level and then return the same way you left. Usually, when games want you to return someplace, you do it accidentally by going forward and discovering a new short-cut. Some (bad) games are openly declare to you that you need to do that. But this is almost on par with the F1 in the Postal. But there, i suspect, it was intentionally bad design, not accidental.

When i've finished Unreal i didn't like it, because i was comparing it to the MP part of Quake 2. But now, when i have the full context, i kind of want to check it out again and see if it's actually better than Quake 2 SP.

@темы: quake, Компьютерные Игры, Индустрия Развлечений

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Northern lights


I saw the film a long time ago, so i don't remember much of the plot. But what is instantly noticeable is that the book puts Lyra in the category of poor and stupid. She spends the entire opening part being completely unsupervised street rat.

The concept of daemons is a quirky USP, but it's mechanics still doesn't exactly click for me. Well it does work at face value and it does make you feel the feels from the descriptions.

It's a cool unique fantasy adventure with a rather inconclusive ending.

The Subtle Knife


Ehm, ugh, okay? You know first book is pretty simple compared to this one. After the previous ending is just a beginning this one opens with a different protagonist and takes its time before it finally ties into the first story in utter Dick's bizarreness arranged into Simak's seemingly sane logic.

This is a one damn esoteric exquisite exotic cuisine dish, and you have to be into things like Lexx, Naked Lunch or especially Zardoz, with its underlying philosophy, to get into it.

The Amber Spyglass


Sooo. Compared to this one the previous book is child's play. The third book manages to be both more wild, and to completely tie all events together into a consistent ruleset. The daemons turns out are actually a YU+ME: dream type soul-splitting ordeal (or the other way around), which makes the soul-rape parts even more impactful.

The story is vaguely hinting at the events, which will make degenerate concerned moms go berserk, if they only knew these books exist. The author did try to chicken out of it, but his chosen vagueness speaks for itself. And we all know what we would (and most of you did) in such situation. The book is climaxing in the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the two dilemma, at the least selfless age, and at the least selfless moment. And, boi, that smarts.

The harshness does work, but still, there must be loopholes with the scale of things. It's basically same is saying that you personally is able to stop global warming by yourself, with the rest of the planet still doing their shit at the price of your misery and unresolved missed opportunities. Well, most of the people already live with unresolved issues and do ponder missed opportunities, with an ability to seemingly just move on during the waking hours, which precede late night in bed introspections.

@темы: His Dark Materials, Книги, Philip Pullman

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Double barrel shotgun simulator '94. Forget about the rest of the weapons, because it's so OP with so much ammo and gameplay loop having so much more agency, compared to the rest of the monotone peashooters, that it destroys the whole balance of the game. Also welcome our new hit-scan-weapons overlords chaingunners, chaingunners everywhere; hell knights are just a reskin; arachnotrons are just a sized down spiderdemon with hit-scan chainguns switched to more fun plasma guns; mancubi and pain elementals are truly great; and revenant with arch-vile can either be very interesting or very pointlessly frustrating, depending on the level-design (which is not very great here) due to using seeking missiles and being extremely strong with hit-scan respectively.

Not as good as the first game, because rather often level design drops down to immature troll level, with random hidden passages and barrels. That's why FPS genre is often described as "random dumb labyrinths" (though it's nice that the game is now one complete episode). First game (not counting "thy flesh") was not like that and most of the time level-design was logical and understandable and really enjoyable. Even final "boss" this time is unsatisfactory and dull.

Otherwise it's too similar to the first game to talk more about it. If "more of the same" is enough for you - then it's for you.

@темы: Doom, Компьютерные Игры

08:22

Dear Esther

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Предсказуемо претенциозное говнище/10

Purely observatory exploration adventure game with no meaningful interaction and some random irrelevant ramblings.
You can't jump, can't run, can't pick up stuff, the water is made of lava. You can't even properly bind forward to caps lock. But you can enable console and type there +forward.

And unlike particular ethan carter you are free to jump off a cliff to die or to make a shortcut. And no matter what the "story" is — at least it have nothing to do with the fact that AND THEN KITTEN WOKE UP.

A game about invisible sentient being turn into a gull.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры, Бред, Индустрия Развлечений

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Epitome of modern hand-holding console movie, which strip player of any agency. In it's core it is strictly observation-exploration game with slight busywork puzzles and walking simulation.

As a product game looks rather competent, at first, on level with 2006 PC games, but it chugs GF970 SLI whole, even without SSAA, and bring it down to 30-50fps. Most AA are ugly cinematic filters which pour soap all over the picture with single exception of SMAA 1x. But there is one game-breaking bug which makes it unfinishable.

As a game there is not much "game " to be found. Sparse mechanics are on par with games and toys for preschoolers. Player is stripped of all agency and can't die or do anything what's not in the sсript; everything is full of invisible walls; player cannot interact with world at all, even can't take any shortcuts on the road. All what is allowed is to watch a movie, cut into pieces and scattered about location. And authors themselves don't trust player with thinking or not sure in their ability to make 3D models — they are prescripting everything that player is supposed to think and don't let player to think for themselves or investigate anything with interaction (unlike l.a.noir or even gone home).

Computer game narrative just doesn't exist here, not a single piece is narrated trough interaction, only passive observation, which belongs to the movies, not interactive media.

And on top of all that the story itself is just awful. It can be spoiled and be proven most awful just with one trope.

Product -1\1 (game-breaking bug)
Game -1\1 (mechanics are for preschoolers while blood is 16+ or something)
Gesamtkunstwerk -1\1 (zero computer game narration, only passive observation of movies and texts)

@темы: Энтропия, Компьютерные Игры, Индустрия Развлечений

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Season 1-2; OVA 1-2.

Crunchyroll subtitles

If you ever watched any weeaboo trash, this is just another one of those. They start as funny comedies with stupidly fun characters, but then run out of steam. After which they either try to demand that you notice them senpai with painfully bad and cheap kick-the-puppy drama, or just turn into waste of time filler. This one is latter.

The first intro is irritating, but the other intro is OK.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Shinryaku! Ika Musume, Индустрия Развлечений

18:49

Robot Jox

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Back in the childhood i did see chunks of Robot Wars (1993) several times and was really impressed by the scorpion robot. When i’ve found its name, i discovered that it’s tangentially related to this film so we started with this one. And this is a one damn fun giant robot movie

@темы: Robot Jox, Кино

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Deviantart-level presentation with fanfic-level writing and top-notch-cringe amateur voice-acting makes this demented piece of game a really fascinating camp work.

In it's core it is rather usual score\3-stars–grind rhythm-game in jrpg style without any of annoying jrpg timewasting.

"Level-design" or "gameplay" is very sound, narratively speaking - melee strikes require precise aim with swiping, while ranged ones require hitting moving targets on time.

But this game is rather strangely ported, and i don't know if it can be fixed. With mouse most basic actions become much harder to perform, especially on higher difficulties, which combined with high resolutions (targets remain the same size while spacing increases) makes it really difficult. But with proper touchscreen monitor and ancient 1920x1080 resolution this game is pure mechanical joy to play. Still this is a pc version and touchscreen monitors are rarity, so no excuses.

Overall it's rather enjoyable rhythm-game with all of squalor in fascinating trainwreck of presentation.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры, Индустрия Развлечений

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Official russian translation.

The game's core is already basically an amalgam of all the hitman movies ever, and turning it back into a film is one of the easiest tasks. But they continue to screw it up by changing a strange, almost inhumanly robotic guy into an emo-pussy who cries a lot and talks about his feelings. Why the hell? His stupid presence should be absolutely dull and threateningly uncanny at the same time. He's so uncharacteristic and generic that he can impersonate anyone and he doesn't show much discernible emotion. And of course they make this infiltrator guy, a near-perfect ghost with no trace, into a stupid bumbling stumbling idiot who can't be even good at what he is doing, like in the real action movies. No, this is post-2000 and action movies can't have normal protagonists, they have to have stupid screw-ups even in a movie about a perfect killing machine.

They didn't even make they guy look bald.

The original story is kind of nice and it even uses assumed gameplay conventions as a part of the narrative. This movie has a total mess of a story, with so much stupid trash. But unlike the old pile of garbage, this one is at least tolerable as a movie if you don't know anything about the series.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Hitman, Hitman: Agent 47, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

07:57

Real Steel

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A Boy and His underDog. And their funny little sidekick wolverine.

Абсолютно посредственная глупость с некоторой развлекательной ценностью.

@темы: Real Steel, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений

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Twelve episodes + OVA

English subtitles.

A sperg-themed cartoon which never pulls punches. No matter how much you'd want to sympathize with? the protagonist, she is often pathetic, the only culprit of her downfall, rude to people and is often drawn ugly. She robs you of any feeling of being a benevolent pitier and charitable male.
It avoids being filled with all the weeaboo trope (outside of thematic visual ones), and it's a legit and outstanding animated series in itself. It is intentionally unpleasant and provides no release. Though, it ends with nothing, because nippon.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Watashi ga Motenai no wa Do Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui!

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A gross-out shock comedy which basically did close the sub-genre, if anyone would know about it. It managed to be, ugh, actually adult about sexual themes during the rise of post American Pie media (ugh, Harte Jungs can of Axel Stein films); it managed to avoid dumb and usually disgusting, but ultimately low-effort self-deprecation and self harm of Jackass and Dirty Sanchez; and it never gets as primitive as Adam Sandler films during his peak, or during his lowest point of (¿trying to shove self search into?) stale formulaic repetition.

Like, i wouldn’t say it’s good as a movie, but it is a masterpiece of its genre during crowded 2000s, it has it’s unique voice, and every, ugh, “sketch” is undeniably and unmistakably belongs only to this film. All events have distinct “other” feel to them and nothing ever breaks diegesis, no matter what the actual hell is happening on screen. Every part of this film is organic and is not predictable. The main character doesn’t always get away with everything, because there is always Rip Torn to channel mature audience’s disposition to this kind of comedies, especially semi-documental ones (as Tom Green’s show before this). I’m not vene sure if he is acting, or they build a set, put Tom Green there and then just let Elmore loose there. He is the best part of this film.

Even outside of all that context, the film get, ehm, unusual story, which you wouldn’t expect. Because the setup points to pure and happy underdog daddy issues story.

Like some conservative coprolites think that every manly man had to go through a war, or at least serve in the army, or at least graduate from military academy, i think that anyone even thinking to discuss cinema or comedies have to go through this film. When you watch it it has enough downtime to curb your enthusiasm, but with time it distills itself in your memory to it’s purest form.

@темы: Freddy Got Fingered, Кино

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Official russian translation.
I’m aware that this IP exists, i’ve even read (what i think are) parodies of it, but this is my first first-hand experience. This is a cool good-natured cold-war spy co-ompetition story, filmed with Ritchie’s familiar style. This is a solid entertainment.

@темы: Кинотеатр, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Кино

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Jesus Christ Superstar (1973)
I’ve watched it a lot as a kid and saw one live performance of the russian translation. I heard its songs a lot on the radio. Re-watching it now — it’s just as good and it works much better as a musical, than as separate songs.
Normal, safe, song structure requires repetition of two parts in turns, so you have a proven tension-release cycle. Some rap songs also love to use hooks and bridge, but that only ends up in those parts being the best parts of the track (well in rap especially some bridges are the worst parts, given to some pop singers for brand recognition), which in best case will be cut by a DJ Rotten Faggot and looped over some pathetic most bland electro-house to make a popular track for a nightclub. But these songs are structured as classical academic pop music (which entirely swept by popey mozart creating safe, smooth, repetitive tracks) — they try to tell a story and usually are created for plays (duh).
All of these tracks have good parts and incredibly good parts, but they don’t come back to them — blink, and they are gone. Seeing the story they are telling, or at least remembering it, makes them much more fulfilled. The music’s great.

The visual narrative of this movie is ahead of its time for, like, two ages of art. And the structure is current in the 201x’s repostmodernism. It’s representative of USA’s zeitgest (the tail end of it, though) and the whole feel of a hippie and new age spiritual exercise of staging a play for no one, but participants themselves is rare for cinema. The casting is great and is not of a typical Hollywood homogeneous type. These pieces fit perfectly and create a great whole.

Jesus Christ Superstar (2000)
This adaptation represents the late 90s vibe — instead of new age hippies there are street rad culture, dark action movie aesthetics, slightly different take on music, and amazing over the top acting and with most of the cast having more unconventional vocals. While the popular adaptation is still serious, this one is having fun and creates a different take on the musical, constructing its own personality. The Christ is a metrosexual, Judas is always on the brink of squealing, Pilate is eye-poppingly overstressed, priests are a collection of Bond villains, Herod is outright outstanding — running on the knife’s edge above absolutely terrible, but keeping it steady. All these decisions are perfect for a 2000s take on the story.

But overall this isn’t on par with 1973 version only because it doesn’t take much liberty with the music. Sometimes it does slightly R’n’B takes on the songs and that’s all. The musical was written in 70s and it has 70s music, if it had a collection of 90s genre it would be a great millennium picture, making a brief résumé of the decade.

@темы: Jesus Christ Superstar, Jesus Christ Superstar (1973), Jesus Christ Superstar (2000), Кино

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Singleplayer competitive match three with some interesting mechanics. But otherwise pretty mediocre casual game.

Technically it works, but i can't play it without letterboxing on 4:3 even in windowed mode.

Buy one - get one.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры, Bret Airborne, Индустрия Развлечений

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First one was really good minesweeper+nonogram with occasional slips, but this here is just terryfying amounts of grindy brainless busywork, by which only autist on ADHD medication (spoiler: it's meth) won't be driven to madness with percieved dead ends and trial-and-error gameplay.

Even with all new mechanics (which are not that well refined — they mostly hit player agency without any payoff), some of which have potential, level design is weak and only reinforce hopeless feeling of conveyer-belt repetative grind. It's seems like just more of the same, and despite relatively short full completion time you can spend eternity on down-time, making unpayed work of a buchhalter of crunching unending rows of same entry-level math numbers and basic operations.

It's just unenjoyable by people who think too fast for kindergarten count-on-fingers-math problem solving due too all setbacks and bumps on a road which not even nearly can be called autobahn.

@темы: Энтропия, Компьютерные Игры, hexcells, Индустрия Развлечений

08:34

Hexcells

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It is a good minesweeper+nonogram pure math game, but it's rather short and some level design is questionable.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры, hexcells

03:24

Ant-Man

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A typical Marvel's entertainment movie. It doesn't have enough character to it, and what moments it has (Luis coolstories) are too rare to create an identity. All explanations of the mechanics are rather dumb, especially since the visuals, in the visual medium, can do that better. The sub-atomic ending looks okay, but the earlier unnecessary faux-scientific explanations of the details turn it into abysmal giant plot-hole. Movie claims that you shrink by reducing between-molecular space, so how can you go subatomic and even sub-elementary, if the suit can't shrink smaller than sum diameter of your molecules by dimension? There are a lot of the similar holes and whole feel of the film is of a modest mismanagement. It still has some cool scenes but after averaging its all ups and downs it feels somewhat underwhelming and mediocre.

Localization is usual for a Marvel movie. It's not insufferable, but it's not any good.

@темы: Кинотеатр, marvel, Ant-Man, Кино

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Official Russian translation.

This new Adam Sandler's film doesn't even feel like one. It's has much less about abysmal fartile jokes, he acts as less of a jerk and a clown. It generally has a story-line. And there're even some smart arks and scenes there.


So yeah, it's entertaining and it isn't gross.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Pixels (2015), Кино

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A great post-apocaliptic book, which dives into high-concept symbolography and its influence on people, and explores how does civilization holds together.

@темы: The Postman, David Brin, Книги