• ↓
  • ↑
  • ⇑
 
Записи с темой: Кино (список заголовков)
07:42 

Drive (2011)

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
Несмотря на культовую славу композиции Nightcall от Kavinsky — не стоит обнадёживаться, этот фильм снят тем же режиссёром что и у Neon Demon. Потому это сто минут безлицых манекенов молча делающих ничего. Абсолютная претенциозная скука и пустая трата времени с очень скучной синематографией.

@темы: Индустрия Развлечений, Кино, Энтропия

07:38 

The Mechanik (2005)

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
Несмотря на год производства фильм смотрится как типичный боевик девяностых и плачущих МОРПЕХОВ в нём не замечено.

@темы: Кино

22:10 

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
The Smurfs (2011)
Очень глупая и неоригинальная картина, однако количество неуместностей спасают её от того чтобы быть невероятно скучной и\или стерильной. Ноль I'm Blue от Eiffel 65 из десяти.

The Smurfs 2 (2013)
Ещё более глупое продолжение, которое спасено только тем, что колдун на самом деле стал популярной звездой эстрады (то есть пугающей американских критиков "злонамеренностью").

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, Smurfs

22:02 

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
Fast Five
It's finally became so dumb — it actually fun to watch. Also Han's suicidal tendencies.

Fastand Furious 6
They came from the dead. Interestingly: the less awful driving those have — the better they get!

Furious 7
This one was so fun it can even be recommended. Pity it has so much luggage, most of which is bad.
And ending sequence is so incredibly retarded. Что же ты меня живьём хорониш, гад.

@темы: Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, The Fast and the Furious

21:12 

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
The Fast and the Furious
Just as boring as i remember it to be and the plot is already fading from my memory again. Shaky cam and constant gearing and switching are, like, supposed to show you how fast they are driving. All peppered with bottom-feeder-gangsta memeberries.
Машины, притом, совершенно уродливые. Как впрочем и выбранные актёры. Притом музыка так часто сменяется и сливается в такую кашу, а все гонки проходят под "рёв моторов", что несмотря на кажущуюся не самую ужасную подборку — общая картина складывается удручающая.

2 Fast 2 Furious
Boring movie without Vin, which i remembered only one shot from. And i already can't remember what happened there, again.

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
The only standout movie from the first four due to drifting, but most terrible and retarded plot drags it down to the level of the rest.

Fast & Furious
Last time i watched it in cinematheatre and i even forgot there was Vin in this one. Also Han's cameo is laughable and rearranges the continuity for no reason.

@темы: Энтропия, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, The Fast and the Furious

23:03 

Trainspotting

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
Another drug movie which tries very hard to be hip and stylish, but instead is pretty boring and reeks of normies. It did some predictions though.

@темы: Trainspotting, Индустрия Развлечений, Кино

22:52 

Resident Evil

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
Resident Evil
Is a very good action movie with iconic scenes and great soundtrack.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Still pretty good, but has random side-character for no reason no one asked for. Also the amount of blurry slo-mo is kinda irritating. Music is still good.

Resident Evil: Extinction
And it continues to be fun to watch, though this one somewhat lacks RE flavour and feels like any generic zombie-apocalypse movie. And music continues to be good.

Resident Evil: Afterlife
It has the best continuation after the previous movie. And again music is good.

Resident Evil: Retribution
Wild ride never ends for poor Alice. This smart setup allowed them to have several major locations in one movie. Also, when generic people all over the world were infected they turned into zombies, but in the fatherland even in death — conscripts still serve. Critically lacks zombie-lenin.
Most signs even use correct russian, as if Jovović personally spellchecked them.
Despite being updated, music is still good and distinct.

@темы: Кино, Resident Evil

23:00 

Max Steel (2016)

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
is a generic teen superhero origin story with retarded sidekick who can't shut up

@темы: 0, Max Steel, Индустрия Развлечений, Кино, Кинотеатр, Энтропия

22:51 

The Accountant

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
is very good
this is what all your bournes reachers and mechanics should've been
also it could make sjws nice and cozy showing badass autism, while the movie advertises destruction of safe spaces

could use more buchhaltery puns though

@темы: 0, Кино, Кинотеатр

21:30 

jack reacher

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
is a spoiled detective movie which could be better and does have retarded moments But in the end it is nice overall

the best parts seem to come from the books and all dumb parts seem to be created for the film

@темы: 0, jack reacher, Кино

21:24 

inferno (2016)

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
first one was very tight
second one was frantic and detectivey
this one is okay but professor layton doesn't have enough puzzles

also it has nothing to do with church conspiracy which is one less unique flavour to the mix

@темы: Кино, The Da Vinci Code, 0

21:20 

Jack Reacher 2

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
All kicky mckickface and no detective work makes Jack a dull boy.

@темы: Энтропия, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, jack reacher

21:17 

The Mechanic (1972)

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
mechanic

@темы: 0, The Mechanic, Кино

21:15 

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
sphere

@темы: 0, Кино

14:22 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
has 1 hour of plot stretched to 4 hours of incoherent inconsequential video with bad make up
and has nothing to do with deathly hallows at all

@темы: Кино, Harry Potter, 0

01:19 

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
Is the worst one so far. It has absolutely no plot, while writing is awful and makes no sense. All characters act out of the sсript, function like RNGs, and can't converse like humie beings. It's like aliens stole some human skin and try to blend in, not knowing that everyone in the crowd is also an alien who stole humie skin and tries to blend in.

It's a confusing pointless bore to watch.

@темы: Harry Potter, Индустрия Развлечений, Кино, Энтропия

01:08 

The Magnificent Seven (2016)

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
New The Magnificent Seven will please every Trump's voter with unprecedented amounts of racism — they whitewashed every mexican out of the movie.

But seriously, first movie has a better moral.
It was focused on the simple life of farmers, which will remain, while cowboys come and go and are no different from the outlaws. It had a full ark for the "kid", and showed him that there is nothing wrong with being a farmer with a wife instead of an adventurer without one.
New one is exactly what first movie was ((("deconstructing"))) — it's a "cowboys rode into sunset" movie, and no one wants to be a dumb farmer.

But movies are not tales, movies are visual medium, and using "gotta catch 'em all" captain planet PC racist stereotypes cast gave every of the main heroes personality (even if token one) and distinguished them from each other. Despite being smarter overall, original had a "kid", a "bald", and 5 "dads", one of whom had PTSD, but you can't tell which one, since all of the "dads" did look the same and didn't had enough screen time per "dad" to truly remember their quirks and characters. Though remake chickened out of calling "jane who got a gun" the real member of the seven after Hawke's character chickened out. At least that would be a statement; but of course he came back, because the genre and because it was in the original. On top of multiple distinct characters, remake has modern action cinematography, which much improved "dumb excitement" techniques, compared to the 60s, and all of the dumb scenes at least are fun, while being mostly tolerable in quality.

So, despite being dumber and inferior tale, in the end it is a slightly better movie.

@темы: Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, The Magnificent Seven, Seven Samurai, Кинотеатр

00:06 

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
It is a tolerable xmen+harru potter movie with Burton's daddy issues and awful dumb writing.

@темы: Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, Кино, Кинотеатр

23:48 

Коллектор

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
It is a nice movie in the one-man paranoid triller genre. character is interesting and Хабенский is a really good actor. Also it is answering the demand on the hot topic.

@темы: Кино, Кинотеатр

20:21 

Krampus (2015)

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
in the opening of krampus people watch 4:3 movie stretched to 16:9

is kinda good but it's totally a kids movie and krampus himself has insufficient animatronics compared to the rest of monsters
+bizzarro framreate during shouting

@темы: 0, Krampus, Кино

Житие в княжестве Московском

главная