Записи с темой: кинотеатр (список заголовков)

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

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is yet another garbage HP movie
ironically in the second movie kids forgot how to act at all harru and ron act worse than the toilet stalls which are the real leads and have the longest runtime in the film
to tolerate retarded retreading of the opening just pretend that it's uncle monty on screen 10 years after being cured in the christian camp
this is me, hurru in the corner

it has the same incoherent structure with jumps from summer to winter in the matter of 10 minutes without any chapter envelopes
which is baffling considering it's 2:40 runtime and that it manages to tell less than LOTR all while lacking any downtime and char develpmnt
it literally has machina ex machina and several other plot devices and scripted resolutions
some plot "punchlines" lack any proper setups and just happen

and the morbidity of this movie is just baffling

@темы: Энтропия, Кинотеатр, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, Harry Potter


Nine Lives

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is a generic movie in the "2000s talking cgi animals" subgenre as a revival it is a peculiar case but does it have any die-hard fans who prefer it to 90s livaction talking animals subgenre?
with bad acting from mother and daughter's actors

oh and sound design is retarded they use fake cat barks every second of cat's on-screen time, even while real cat has it's mouth shut

@темы: Кинотеатр, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, Nine Lives, 0


Sausage Party

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is a pointless pathetic retarded degenerate seth rogen's pile of shit with 1,5 "jokes" and drugs because that is a generic seth rogen for you ahahha aren't drugs like phunnie guise?
but it has great 8\10 freebie coloring+puzzle book with the tickets
translation is obviously rated E for everyone and buns don't use vertical kinetics, which is a waste and a copout

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Индустрия Развлечений, Энтропия, Sausage Party, 0


Jason Bourne

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can't decide if it is equally or more retarded than first three but "jesus bore 5" is retarded nonetheless

it was filmed by retard who spent last 10 years on meth so it has 30 different shots per minute and you can't see shit what happening. cinematography is shit with unlimited shaky camera works. scenery is magic shit filled with teleporters

it's as boring and sleep-inducing as every jesus bore movie

@темы: 0, Bourne, Индустрия Развлечений, Кино, Кинотеатр, Энтропия


The Secret Life of Pets

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dumb tired retarded and BORING homeward bound clone made by incompetent idiots with motion blur and lens flares in CGI!

@темы: Энтропия, Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Индустрия Развлечений, The Secret Life of Pets, 0


Mower Minions

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It is the worst minion thing i saw. Even minion movie had some good scenes, but this one is flat, boring and unimaginative.

@темы: Энтропия, Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Индустрия Развлечений, despicable me


War Dogs (2016)

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starts with style but instead of making it visual motif it abandons it to become mediocre lord of war IN THE INTERNETS
"based on a true story"
mecha hitler is also "based" on a true story
also every part about their (((families))) are insignificant to the story and could be left out instead of pointing fingers as usual

@темы: Кинотеатр, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, War Dogs, 0


Mechanic: Resurrection

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it has much worse story (save the grill help the orphans) but much better writing. finally, he not just talk about preparation but actually do his homework and play hitman (even if lousy) instead of run in guns blazing and be confused with his feelings. though it lost some of that which resembled "style" in the remake

generic statham dumb action movie
is ok

@темы: Индустрия Развлечений, Mechanic, Кинотеатр, Кино, 0


Ночные стражи

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ночные стражи is not as crazy as it can be suspected from the trailer and don Jean Ярмо is not that colourful of the character. it has mediocre vfx not very great spound design, which feels like it's translation and not original audiotrack (that makes it mediocre from our pov) tries to have sounding ost, and even leitmotiff (or two?) but i strongly dislike that music. character ark which ends with confusion is pretty ok for this story

the biggest problem is the cultural background. it tries to use local folklore to give it a nice flavour, but character refers to men in black while much better movie title to describe that situation would be ночной дозор which was pretty big cultural event in it's time. it even looks better and has a lot of memorable "scenes" instead of just one. next, they all use outdated generic weoponry familiar to NATO population instead of local АК74М\АКС74У\РПК74 equally iconic for foreign audiences and some unusual-looking "fantasy" designs of ПП-2000 ПП-90 or ПП19 (АК based SMG with helical magazine)
even machineguns are gatling multibarrel type instead of locally preffered multicannons. and the city is absolutely generic-looking skyline without any moscow sights. only metro map is similar to the moscow's one

it's ok

@темы: Энтропия, Ночные стражи, Кинотеатр, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, 0



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The film has traditionally weak and disjointed setup, but actually interesting sсript. Though with a couple of plothole-level pointless hick-ups, to make certain genre-"scenes" happen. Movie features some almost good cinematography, without hipster garbage, and half-good-half-wasted-potential sound design. But not as wasted as mad max furry road.
Narrative is a "puzzle" type and just like with "Memento", one could wonder, will it be as good, if one unfold all the storytelling envelopes and play it straight.

It looks rather cheap and trashy, but overall it's enjoyable and pays off in the end.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Кино, Диггеры


Pete's Dragon (2016)

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It is yet another disney remake. It's mostly not embarrassing or disjointed, but it's so tired that it feels like 30min long. It's so boring that it'll try to bore you to sleep.

@темы: Pete's Dragon, Кино, Кинотеатр


Quo vado?

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Film returned me to my childhood of italian & french comedies and reminded that comedies can be geniuunly funny and not just fart jokes and degenerate references.

Hollywood and movies beloved by modern americans killed my will to watch movies.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Кино, Quo vado?


Suicide Squad

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Suicide Squad is enjoyable and really fun
on par with deadpool or ultron 7\10

the only jarring thing is the amount of songs. ost is great but it so all over the place as if it's 13yo's first social network profile and
it can't decide what to choose so it just vomits all the titles it can remember
would be better to choose a couple of songs from one artist or in one style or genre and use them like leitmotif

otherwise, people who dislike it can go watch fucking ghostbusters 2016 they deserve

men of 430FSe was dumb pretentious and incoherent but tolerable & pretty
BvS was kewl and saved by jesse playing slightly twitchier himself
but ⚡⚡ is a straightforward simple story but with somewhat less tropey narrative

war is peace
less tropes is bad

@темы: Кинотеатр, Кино, Suicide Squad, DC comics, 0


极地大反攻 (Jídì dà fǎngōng [?])

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The CGI animated movie translated as Polar Adventure is a low-budget low-poly low-textures low-brow cartoon with out of place good particles-physics and a bizarre art-style.

Also features an awful recap of the previous whole movie in cuts out of order in the middle. It seems like that is an established Chinese cinematographic trope, because i already saw it being used in the 龙在哪里 (Long zai na li).

If the story was better, or if someone would cut out all of the garbage and awful musical sequence — it would be a tolerable bizarro experience, but as is it is pretty bad.

@темы: Энтропия, Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Индустрия Развлечений, Jidi da fangong


Blinky Bill the Movie

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i did nazi that coming
is a mediocre and tolerable, looks ok, furs are ok 5\10
oh and they are often going 4wd which is a totally +
making unhumies cartoons while using totally humie kinetics is dumb

@темы: 0, Blinky Bill, Индустрия Развлечений, Кинотеатр, Мультипликация/анимация


龙在哪里 (Long zai na li)

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A CGI animated movie, which is as dumb as any amerikan cartoon, but it has a chinese story and narrative, therefore it is less tiresome to watch. Though, i think with overexposure they would be equal.

It’s medium budgeted and with uneven distribution. Some furs look just great, while other furs are basic flats. Should’ve either make all furs plain textures or all furs fully modeled, for tonal consistency.

For some reason it has a retarded very long flashback sequence in the middle, showing you what you just saw in the last hour. And it seems it’s a common element in the chinese animation. Is it an ancient chinese secret for retarded adhd humie maggots?

Also the song in the ending is absolutely awful. If someone would make a recut without pointless flashback and without that song, it’ll be an ok cartoon.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Индустрия Развлечений, Long zai na li, 0



Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
oh shit waddup here comes dat meme dam kids get out of my lawn with your satanic internet

is so retarded it's fun be afraid of internet it'll turn you into a zombie you won't believe which dankest memes they use

@темы: Энтропия, Кинотеатр, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, cell


Ice Age: Collision Course

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equals is Equilibrium of Brave New World with Flowers for Algernon of Romeo and Juliet

@темы: Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, Equals, 0, Кинотеатр


Neon Demon

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pretentious shallow insubstantial cucketry about nothing, made for cinema students without taste to fap to
it pretends to have cinematography as kid tries to act adult by swearing in the wrong places and wear FUBAR makeup

it has a lot of 10mins stretches of nothing happening on the screen
it treats the viewer as an idiot who can't pinpoint where the sound is coming from

and the story bits are random plotmagic, just because

it's like high rise but without everything interesting

it's another unimaginative garbage like mallholland drive

@темы: Энтропия, Кинотеатр, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, Neon Demon, 0

Житие в княжестве Московском