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Записи с темой: кинотеатр (список заголовков)
14:20 

Storks

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
it has 1 joke repeated 6 times and 2 hours of embarrassing shit
+evil capitalism

@темы: Кинотеатр, Storks, 0, Мультипликация/анимация

01:08 

The Magnificent Seven (2016)

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
New The Magnificent Seven will please every Trump's voter with unprecedented amounts of racism — they whitewashed every mexican out of the movie.

But seriously, first movie has a better moral.
It was focused on the simple life of farmers, which will remain, while cowboys come and go and are no different from the outlaws. It had a full ark for the "kid", and showed him that there is nothing wrong with being a farmer with a wife instead of an adventurer without one.
New one is exactly what first movie was ((("deconstructing"))) — it's a "cowboys rode into sunset" movie, and no one wants to be a dumb farmer.

But movies are not tales, movies are visual medium, and using "gotta catch 'em all" captain planet PC racist stereotypes cast gave every of the main heroes personality (even if token one) and distinguished them from each other. Despite being smarter overall, original had a "kid", a "bald", and 5 "dads", one of whom had PTSD, but you can't tell which one, since all of the "dads" did look the same and didn't had enough screen time per "dad" to truly remember their quirks and characters. Though remake chickened out of calling "jane who got a gun" the real member of the seven after Hawke's character chickened out. At least that would be a statement; but of course he came back, because the genre and because it was in the original. On top of multiple distinct characters, remake has modern action cinematography, which much improved "dumb excitement" techniques, compared to the 60s, and all of the dumb scenes at least are fun, while being mostly tolerable in quality.

So, despite being dumber and inferior tale, in the end it is a slightly better movie.

@темы: Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, The Magnificent Seven, Seven Samurai, Кинотеатр

00:06 

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
It is a tolerable xmen+harru potter movie with Burton's daddy issues and awful dumb writing.

@темы: Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, Кино, Кинотеатр

23:48 

Коллектор

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
It is a nice movie in the one-man paranoid triller genre. character is interesting and Хабенский is a really good actor. Also it is answering the demand on the hot topic.

@темы: Коллектор, Кинотеатр, Кино

02:40 

Дуэлянт

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
it is a nice simple crime movie in a rare setting.it doesn't have any juxtaposition or a lot light-hearted action and there is no3
Дореволюціонный Совѣтчикъ on the ost to push it beyond, but still costumes are nice and acting is pleasant
they did a lot of historical research (i hope, haven't fact-checked it) on the duels, so it doesn't repeat same generic stuff all the time

imax is nothing to write home about
curved screen (more like kurwed) is a bad idea as always
the angular size is not that different
and if movie was not targeted toward it from the start there is no advantages in sound or picture's height
and even if it was it's not entirely bigger but only some scenes
also i could still see pixels and artefacts so there are no advantages in physical medium size for digital cameras (duh)

кинотеатр на кожуховской говно для пидорасов у этих долбоёбов синяя подсветка ступенек настолько ебучая что засвечивает 2\6 экрана целиком
впрочем и угловые размеры к нему относятся. только первый ряд более менее кроет, но он на одной высоте с экраном потмоу нихера не видно
а с 3 не большая разница с обычным кинотеатром на первом ряду

@темы: Кинотеатр, Кино, Дуэлянт, 0

16:46 

Ben-Hur (2016)

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
is nice
costumes are great and iconography is kewl

@темы: 0, ben-hur, Кино, Кинотеатр

08:09 

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
is yet another garbage HP movie
ironically in the second movie kids forgot how to act at all harru and ron act worse than the toilet stalls which are the real leads and have the longest runtime in the film
to tolerate retarded retreading of the opening just pretend that it's uncle monty on screen 10 years after being cured in the christian camp
this is me, hurru in the corner

it has the same incoherent structure with jumps from summer to winter in the matter of 10 minutes without any chapter envelopes
which is baffling considering it's 2:40 runtime and that it manages to tell less than LOTR all while lacking any downtime and char develpmnt
it literally has machina ex machina and several other plot devices and scripted resolutions
some plot "punchlines" lack any proper setups and just happen

and the morbidity of this movie is just baffling

@темы: Энтропия, Кинотеатр, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, Harry Potter

08:06 

Nine Lives

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
is a generic movie in the "2000s talking cgi animals" subgenre as a revival it is a peculiar case but does it have any die-hard fans who prefer it to 90s livaction talking animals subgenre?
with bad acting from mother and daughter's actors

oh and sound design is retarded they use fake cat barks every second of cat's on-screen time, even while real cat has it's mouth shut

@темы: Кинотеатр, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, Nine Lives, 0

08:00 

Sausage Party

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
is a pointless pathetic retarded degenerate seth rogen's pile of shit with 1,5 "jokes" and drugs because that is a generic seth rogen for you ahahha aren't drugs like phunnie guise?
but it has great 8\10 freebie coloring+puzzle book with the tickets
translation is obviously rated E for everyone and buns don't use vertical kinetics, which is a waste and a copout

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Индустрия Развлечений, Энтропия, Sausage Party, 0

13:52 

Jason Bourne

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
can't decide if it is equally or more retarded than first three but "jesus bore 5" is retarded nonetheless

it was filmed by retard who spent last 10 years on meth so it has 30 different shots per minute and you can't see shit what happening. cinematography is shit with unlimited shaky camera works. scenery is magic shit filled with teleporters

it's as boring and sleep-inducing as every jesus bore movie

@темы: 0, Bourne, Индустрия Развлечений, Кино, Кинотеатр, Энтропия

03:34 

The Secret Life of Pets

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
dumb tired retarded and BORING homeward bound clone made by incompetent idiots with motion blur and lens flares in CGI!

@темы: Энтропия, Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Индустрия Развлечений, The Secret Life of Pets, 0

03:34 

Mower Minions

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
It is the worst minion thing i saw. Even minion movie had some good scenes, but this one is flat, boring and unimaginative.

@темы: Энтропия, Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Индустрия Развлечений, despicable me

22:45 

War Dogs (2016)

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
starts with style but instead of making it visual motif it abandons it to become mediocre lord of war IN THE INTERNETS
"based on a true story"
mecha hitler is also "based" on a true story
also every part about their (((families))) are insignificant to the story and could be left out instead of pointing fingers as usual

@темы: Кинотеатр, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, War Dogs, 0

22:08 

Mechanic: Resurrection

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
it has much worse story (save the grill help the orphans) but much better writing. finally, he not just talk about preparation but actually do his homework and play hitman (even if lousy) instead of run in guns blazing and be confused with his feelings. though it lost some of that which resembled "style" in the remake

generic statham dumb action movie
is ok

@темы: Индустрия Развлечений, Mechanic, Кинотеатр, Кино, 0

21:46 

Ночные стражи

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
ночные стражи is not as crazy as it can be suspected from the trailer and don Jean Ярмо is not that colourful of the character. it has mediocre vfx not very great spound design, which feels like it's translation and not original audiotrack (that makes it mediocre from our pov) tries to have sounding ost, and even leitmotiff (or two?) but i strongly dislike that music. character ark which ends with confusion is pretty ok for this story

the biggest problem is the cultural background. it tries to use local folklore to give it a nice flavour, but character refers to men in black while much better movie title to describe that situation would be ночной дозор which was pretty big cultural event in it's time. it even looks better and has a lot of memorable "scenes" instead of just one. next, they all use outdated generic weoponry familiar to NATO population instead of local АК74М\АКС74У\РПК74 equally iconic for foreign audiences and some unusual-looking "fantasy" designs of ПП-2000 ПП-90 or ПП19 (АК based SMG with helical magazine)
even machineguns are gatling multibarrel type instead of locally preffered multicannons. and the city is absolutely generic-looking skyline without any moscow sights. only metro map is similar to the moscow's one

it's ok

@темы: Энтропия, Ночные стражи, Кинотеатр, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, 0

21:03 

Диггеры

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
The film has traditionally weak and disjointed setup, but actually interesting sсript. Though with a couple of plothole-level pointless hick-ups, to make certain genre-"scenes" happen. Movie features some almost good cinematography, without hipster garbage, and half-good-half-wasted-potential sound design. But not as wasted as mad max furry road.
Narrative is a "puzzle" type and just like with "Memento", one could wonder, will it be as good, if one unfold all the storytelling envelopes and play it straight.

It looks rather cheap and trashy, but overall it's enjoyable and pays off in the end.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Кино, Диггеры

20:46 

Pete's Dragon (2016)

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
It is yet another disney remake. It's mostly not embarrassing or disjointed, but it's so tired that it feels like 30min long. It's so boring that it'll try to bore you to sleep.

@темы: Pete's Dragon, Кино, Кинотеатр

20:01 

Quo vado?

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
Film returned me to my childhood of italian & french comedies and reminded that comedies can be geniuunly funny and not just fart jokes and degenerate references.

Hollywood and movies beloved by modern americans killed my will to watch movies.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Кино, Quo vado?

23:56 

Suicide Squad

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
Suicide Squad is enjoyable and really fun
on par with deadpool or ultron 7\10

the only jarring thing is the amount of songs. ost is great but it so all over the place as if it's 13yo's first social network profile and
it can't decide what to choose so it just vomits all the titles it can remember
would be better to choose a couple of songs from one artist or in one style or genre and use them like leitmotif

otherwise, people who dislike it can go watch fucking ghostbusters 2016 they deserve

men of 430FSe was dumb pretentious and incoherent but tolerable & pretty
BvS was kewl and saved by jesse playing slightly twitchier himself
but ⚡⚡ is a straightforward simple story but with somewhat less tropey narrative

war is peace
less tropes is bad

@темы: Кинотеатр, Кино, Suicide Squad, DC comics, 0

23:21 

极地大反攻 (Jídì dà fǎngōng [?])

Сынок знаешь, ты тоже вот-вот кудесником станешь.
polar adventure is a low budget low poly low textures low brow cartoon with real-time particles-physics and bizarre artstyle

also features awful recap OF THE PREVIOUS WHOLE MOVIE IN CUTS OUT OF ORDER in the middle
if story was better or if someone would cut out all of the garbage and awfull musical sequence it would be a tolerable bizxarro experience, but right now 3\10
still better than ghostbuster2016

@темы: Энтропия, Мультипликация/анимация, Кинотеатр, Индустрия Развлечений, Jidi da fangong, 0

Житие в княжестве Московском

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