The Hunter’s Prayer

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A generic post-action movie. But not in the sense of cinematography but in it’s subject matter. It’s tolerable but unremarkable and unmemorable.

@темы: The Hunter’s Prayer, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений


Killing Gunther

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This Is Spın̈al Glockumentary

A fake-documentary dark comedy, which improves the formula by using this subject matter, but is also dragged down by the tropes of this tiny genre and inherent weak cinematography.

The real documentaries are usually much more engaging and dynamic in their editing than this.

@темы: Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, Killing Gunther


Security (2017)

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A pretty trivial premises-defense action movie. But since it has mostly okay cinematography, a pinch of grimdark and it is not about crying MARINES! (despite the storyline kinda being about that), it makes it somewhat outstanding in the >>current year.

@темы: Кино, Security (2017)



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A usual story about two outsiders duking it out in the contemporary USA. The main character is cool, some things work nice and overall it’s enjoyable but unremarkable.

Trancers II

A typical “but he had a brother” sequel, slightly complicated with quasi-ressurection of protagonist’s dead wife of his backstory.

McNulty grannie returns with the same actress, with whole story being aged accordingly.

Pay attention to the Rabbit, something tells me he’s gonna stick around.

Trancers III
Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From the Future

This instalment has the Shark and shows Deth’s daughter\granny, but overall is unremarkable and forgettable. It’s still enjoyable, though.

Trancers 4: Jack of Swords

…perpendicular method of sсript-writing…

Usually series are going into space in later installments, but it’s already kind of from there, so, instead, they went to the past to live in dirty castle that suck ass.

It’s fine, but the ending is a little inconclusive.

Trancers 5: Sudden Deth

And this is why the fourth movie works, but feels a little off. It was kind of a two-parter.

Jack goes back to the future world and gets himself yet another girl.

Trancers 6

This installment is mixing up the formula by putting Jack (in the absence of Tim Thomerson) into the body of his own grannie\daughter. The usual dumb jokes of such setup (hello, Quantum Leap) come up only once, the rest of the film is a full-fledged Trancers.

The lead actress is kind of great and really pulls off a role of Tim Thomerson playing Jack Deth. On top of that, it creates a “badass” female protagonist, who doesn’t act “bitchy” or “slutty” on top of that, which is kind of a rarity (anyone beside Ripley from the Alien?)

The film is mostly good, but the prophecy parts are cinematographically unfitting and fake Thomerson parts are jarring.

Trancers: City of Lost Angels

A short movie which takes place between first and second Trancers and is cut out from Pulse Pounders anthology film.

@темы: Кино, Trancers, Pulse Pounders


Robosapien: Rebooted

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An utmost generic “surprisingly speaking sidekick” type of the movie for indiscriminating kids, in the world of which you can rob all your neighbours and get away with it.

@темы: Энтропия, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, Robosapien: Rebooted, Robosapien


Our little Secret (2004)

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A short movie, which is aping Nolan’s Following or something and is absolutely random and makes no sense. What it even tries to tell?

@темы: Энтропия, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, Our little Secret (2004)


Justice League (2017)

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It’s a one fine grimdark CGI cartoon. It starts somewhat weak, with a scene cut so bad that it’s impossible to understand what is happening and why it is even mentioned later in the movie. But, despite it being a Zack Snyder film (or maybe even due to it being a Zack Snyder film) the rest of the movie has okay cinematography which is entirely comprehensible and unobtrusive. But the sound design is kind of strange — when the movie moves into Poland, it tries to play some of the local music motives. And usually such things are made only for a joke.

The characters are enjoyable, new Flash is just great, the old man Batman being honest is an interesting take, laughstock Aquamen being a cocky muscle machine was needed too. Overall, it’s nowhere worse than any Marvel movie, and even better than some.

The problem is, i have to re-watch director’s cuts of all of the DC movies. And not only for additional footage, but also for the original voices. And i hope one for this will fix the opening.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Кино, Wonder Woman, Superman, Justice League (2017), Justice League, Flash (DC Comics), DC comics, Cyborg (DC Comics), Batman, Aquaman


Death Note

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A convoluted garbage with no consistent rules and giant leaps in logic on L’s part. Who is a magic government secret kid-detective. It’s not interesting and has nothing to show. Ryok is always bashfully hiding in the shadows, like some cheap horror killer, instead of always quirkily being in the open, like screenshots of the cartoon suggest. No one sees him anyway. The last chapter looks like unimaginable contrived trash, but it all is explained in the end and it’s the only thing which actually kinda works. If you came to terms with retarded setup and forgave it.

Dumb movies with abysmal plots are fine as long they don’t pretend to be serious or as long as they are using straight face to juxtapose the obvious absurdism. This is just pretentious ow the edge with nothing to show. The only nice thing is Willem Dafoe, though he should have played the Ryok and could do it without any make-up.

@темы: Энтропия, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, Desu Noto, Death Note


Teen Titans: The Judas Contract

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Deathstroke bizarro adventure

The film starts with flashback which has nothing in common with this storyline, or theme, or tone, or even narrative, while using a different animation and art styles and it features different people. Then it leaps to present with a ton of "who are all those people" in the first scene. If you suppose that your audience already knows everyone and what happened in between, then don't even show an unrelated and even dissonant clip from the past. Instead, they should've show where Terra came from and how she joined the team. Like in the source material.

Some moments in the writing of the film itself are rather jarring, but they are kind of explained later in the movie.

The thing is, troubled youth in Marvel universe is handled by Xavier, whose superpower is that he is superprofessor, and always can help by being parental figure and a magic brain-scanning functioning psychoanalyst at the same time.
In DC we just take a bunch of kids, give them free out of any education card, and put them in the giant dorm. Which is built for a hundred of people, but usually is occupied by about ten persons. What realistically goes there is more akin to the Teen Titans Go! than any other adaptation.
Next, the alien 30 years old chick falls out of the sky on 17 years old dude and sexually harasses him. Five years down the line, those adults are hanging out with young kids, while said chick just runs around early-teen boys (and girls) bare assed.
The evil doom machine 9000 can create a man with... The Power of the Five People! And beside meta-humans and aliens, the priest wanted to add power of a teen and an adult in tight suits to the mix. Of course! Even the movie itself treats them like garbage. While everyone is fighting the chimera, Robins just wasting their time unsuccessfully trying to beat a lone vietnam veteran on steroids after cardiopulmonary resuscitation.
Speaking of which, was he resurrected before he found much younger Terra, than depicted, or was he just absent for some time, while she was alone in his big, strong, glistering secret lair without food and no way out?
This version of Terra tries so hard to grimdark everything and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter. Well, okay, drama, drama, lolita, child abuse, whatever; even with blood gushing everywhere on screen, all dirty talk about grandpa's dick and premature ejaculation, they still chickened out of nips-nips in see-through peignoir. But then a rock falls on her. But she is god of rocks. But she was dug out in one piece. But then she dramatically dies in his hands and he must scream no-o-o-o-o-o! to the sky. At least they should have leave her buried and squished, instead of making that retarded trope.

DC is always nonsensical outside of the "cinematic universe", so the only way to watch this movie right, is to skip the flashback and treat it like an adaptation of a single story-ark from the comics.

Overall it looks okay (if we don't count Deasthstroke's JoJo lips) and the cinematography is fine, even despite the jarring clash with 3D animation. It is just a generic action movie with generic story. It's okay.

А насчёт педобугурта в пендостане — пока вы делаете вид, что дети не начинают интересоваться сексом с пяти лет, они будут раздеваться и трынькать для незнакомых стариков в интернете за бесплатно, а эти записи будут накапливаться на бесконечных сайтах для извращенцев. А ведь это можно было бы решить простым разговором, а не делать вид что этого не существует.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Teen Titans, DC comics


Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

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A new Poirot movie starts with stache being too flamboyant, some bad joke(?) trying to characterize the protagonist as ???? and an “ow the edge” line, set up only to be shattered later, instead of using it as a stylistic choice for him.

This is my first orient express and it is just fine. A really nice classic murder mystery with no outstanding pieces (outside of this double stache) good or bad — everything inside the train is just right.

I’m barely familiar with the source material, but David Suchet’s Poirot is kind of outstanding in that field. Unlike the rest of the detectives, he is fat and poorly bald, but feels and positions himself as the most pretty male in the vicinity. Meanwhile Kenneth Branagh’s Poirot have stature, piercing blue eyes and imposing hairdo. It’s hard to distinguish him from Sherlocks or just any noir Detective with fedora. So it seems Branagh decided to overcompensate that with his overkill double-decker stache.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Кино, Poirot, Murder on the Orient Express (2017), Murder on the Orient Express


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Doll Graveyard
Did someone overdose on some serious shchi?

An utterly boring and tired movie, which pretends to be a real horror, while it lacks the required budget and has a stale story. Well, at least it created Ooga Booga, who became a prominent figure in the future of Full Moon Cinematic Universe.


Yet another killer doll movie, where the premise is better than it’s execution. Shadow Man is kind of great, mobster’s brothers are nice too. Overall it’s just okay.

Totem (1999)

The movie has an interesting premise, but bad acting, choppy cinematography, random footage from some viking movie and an abrupt underwhelming ending are making it bad.


A typical horror movie from the Full Moon, with interesting characters and unusual premise.

I was hunting for it for some time since i first saw it on TV in the childhood. I though i missed the whole second part, but it turned out i probably watched it entirely, since it’s lacking a big fight and is mostly about people talking.

These kids are supposed to be kids\experiments of the Bride of the Head of the Family. Still waiting.

@темы: Hideous!, Doll Graveyard, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, Totem (1999), Ragdoll, Ooga Booga


The Gingerdead Men

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Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust

A meta-referential movie with the a great opening scene, and ridiculous puppets crucifying the Gingerdead. With the lower budget, the doll of the Gingerdead is much less articulate, but there is a scene where he is piloting a mech-suit. Also now the main antagonist has his own musical theme.

The title of this movie is plain great.

Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver
The Roller Disco Beauty Pageant Boogaloo.

The movie starts with the scene referencing The Silence of the Lambs and featuring some new puppets, after which it goes back to the past, to see the shitty roller disco that sucks ass. Well, to be honest, the footage with real disco rollers showing of their skill is kinda interesting.
The puppet is not very articulate, and the movie uses some rather cheap CGI, but overall it’s just yet another ridiculous comedy-horror from Full Moon, if you want one.

@темы: Кино, The Gingerdead Man


Evil Bongs

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Evil Bong

A trivial stoner movie, which ties half of the Full Moon’s separate film series into one shared cinematic universe.

The bong is delivered by the Rabbit, who escaped Trancers 2, while in the bong world we have appearances from Ooga Booga of Doll Graveyard and kind of his own movie (which features the different soul and happens after Evil Bong: High 5), Ivan Burroughs of the Decadent Evil which is also tied to the Vampire Journals and Subspecies, Gingerdead Man of his own series, who will become a prominent character in the real world of Evil Bong later, Jack Attack of Demonic Toys, which ties it to the world where the first Demonic Toys really happened (Head of the Family, Blood Dolls, Hideous!, Demonic Toys 2: Personal Demons and nonexistent Bride of the Head of the Family and therefore maybe to Mystery Monsters; also featuring the footage from the Puppet Master series and crossovering with it in that real world or in that media world) and the world where it all was just a dream (Dollman, Bad Channels, Dollman vs. Demonic Toys), and the Jack Deth, again from Trancers.

The movie has a great main theme, but the rest is a vinegret of different tracks randomly starting and stopping. Also it has absolutely useless and somewhat obnoxious break-bumpers.
Overall it’s okay, but the main attraction is the singularity event for the Full Moon cinematic universe.

Evil Bong 2: King Bong

Second movie has new Alister, which is kinda addressed, and a very nice costume for Brett. Rabbit has switched his occupation yet again.

Just like with some classic sequels, it makes old Terminator Bong an anti-hero, whose help is required to defeat the new, more powerful version. Which is her (ex?) boyfriend — the King Bong.

Evil Bong 3D: The Wrath of Bong

This movie has yet another new Alister, which is also addressed. Structurally it repeats the second movie, with the new antagonist being an alien bong. The storyline is continued, but Alister plays a more passive role this time, with Larnell being the main action here, who saved everyone.
The uncontrollable alien weed infestation is dropped and never mentioned in the universe again, with the jungle weed returning as the main resource in this universe.

Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong

This movie makes The Gingerdead Man a prequel to the first Evil Bong, instead of one of the bong world creations, but at the same time it means that Passion of the Crust and Saturday Night Cleaver happened some time after the Evil Bong 666.

It’s fun that they had to use the same actress in two different roles, which she managed to pull off. But the ending is underwhelming and inconclusive.

The new special effects for the Gingerdead are superior to the plain puppet, which can’t move lips, from The Gingerdead Man sequels. Also it’s kind of great to see, that with the current improved technologies, one of the oldest technics became a good-looking one.

Evil Bong 420

Oh. Oh. I get it. It is not a movie anymore, it’s a line-series. With no resolution or catharsis for each individual “episode”. The Hambo getting the inspiration for Joe Cracker puts it before the Ooga-Booga movie. But the Doll Graveyard doll itself is already active and is attacking racists in this movie.
It’s interesting how strange the Hambo is. He is not a racist himself and he is disrespecting the real racist characters, but doesn’t even see any problems with his designs.

While the lack of catharsis is frustrating it’s still a tolerable joyride on the waves of the Full Moon cinematic universe. Because the current Gingerdead Man effects and writing are kind of great.

Evil Bong: High 5

And here now we finally have a conclusion to this story-ark. Even cliffhanger is better than nothing.
Considering that Hambo is still collecting his inspirations (BUY NOOOOOW), it places this movie before Ooga Booga in the timeline (which i will totally make). Also this movie namedrops Killjoy‘s Psycho Circus, but does it warrant including Killjoy series into Full Moon Cinematic Universe?
It’s a nice touch, that when hostages are being (c\h)arassed by Poontang tribe, one of them kind of likes it and the other isn’t. It includes >>the current year into the movie, without turning it into ancient genre trope of all girls are bi. Though… I just googled it and libtards turned this from being an offensive and degrading cliche into another autistic pride banner \o.

High-five times out of 10.

@темы: Индустрия Развлечений, Кино, Vampire Journals, Trancers, The Gingerdead Man, Subspecies, Ooga Booga, Hideous!, Head of the Family, Evil Bong, Dollman, Doll Graveyard, Demonic Toys, Decadent Evil, Blood Dolls, Bad Channels


Why him?

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What looked like yet another tired “meet the parents” type garbage, turned out to be “meet the parents” an okay movie. Instead of yet another “quirky” boyfriend, it actually more focuses on the gap in generations and is based upon >>the current year, instead of some inoffensive nowhen (which basically means garbage american 80s nostalgia, which this movie somewhat makes the fun of). It’s not only a two notches deeper than expected from the genre, it’s also somehow manages to be funny, while avoids “how do you do my fellow kids”. The second notch, mentioned before, is more agency for female characters and without any feminazi garbage. This is how it’s done right.

@темы: Кино, Why him?


The Secret Of Kells

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…stop me if you’ve heard this one before…

This film is somewhat similar to The Book of Life. They both are extremely stylized and use two (or more) different styles instead of using one coherent style. They both have very weak stories and bad out of place jokes. And they both don’t really represent their subject matter — a “celebration of the local culture”.

But The Book of Life has “friendship is magic” parts to its generic story and its design is “never seen before”. And The Secret of Kells is reminiscent of soviet animation tradition (considered to be surrealistic in the west), uses comics’ panels for no reason in couple of places and has jarring 3D in couple of others. Also the cinematography is somewhat stiff, probably to keep the age ratings, and sometimes uses a different art-styles, which are clashing with everything else.

The storyline is yet another “daddy issues” “hide vs expose” thing and i’m not sure if that structure is even related to the ireland or if it was just imposed by englishmen. “The waifu” which is heavily used to advertise this, is no more than a minor sidekick (with not that great voice-acting). And it has a lot of those. It has the whole “captain planet” team of racist stereotypes — literally “a big-ass ooga booga” (not even voiced by a black dude), a short, wise, ancient, long-living “the gook”, gloomy slave (what an orthodox can do in the Abbey? Was there schism already?) and a fat mumbling italian with mario stache doing fingers. And on top of all that we have the irish cat. The fairy is basically a plot device, team racist is no more than out of place “””comic”” relief” and the cat is perpendicular to everything. It exists only because it’s irish and they just had to namedrop it here. The now topical wall is only methaphorical — the evool vikings can just teleport on top of it. There is no proof or explanation of why it was a bad idea, and how everything would be better without it. And the vikings are just orks. Not different culture, not barbarians, not bandits, not even people, just orks. And even truly irish Cromm Crúaich is just another Níðhöggr\Jǫrmungandr going full οὐροβόρος. Isn’t this supposed to celebrate irish unique selling points?

Of course some types of catholicism can go full regional, like black gospel, modern “latino” gangsta catholicism or polish “angelic” hussars. But what is depicted here is so anglosphere-mainstream, that i know that it’s irish only because i read the wiki entry afterwards. I though it’s just some surrealism inspired by soviet-born Геннадий Тартаковский (especially considering the similarities between his Samurai Jack and ᴅʀᴀᴍᴀᴛɪᴄ scenes in this movie), put in the general western europe medieval-type drawings.

It’s peculiar, quaint and picturesque, but even The Book of Life has more going to it’s story and it’s characters. And for someone very familiar with soviet style of animation — this movies is not even that rare, notable or outstanding.

And there is no secret.

@темы: Энтропия, Мультипликация/анимация, Индустрия Развлечений, The Secret Of Kells


Thor: Ragnarok

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It is a nice marvel sci-fi movie and is better than both Guardians of the Galaxy. But of course it’s MCU so it has two characters from the shared universe. Homecoming had one, this film has two, next one will have three? Iron Man 3 somehow managed to stay clean and wholesome, without outside help. And while Hulk plays a big role in the Ragnarok, Doctor Strange is used as a plot device in an insignificant fan-service scene. I know, that that’s exactly what is happening in modern comics, but they have almost a century of the backstory. And even at that, comics themselves are usually criticized by casual audience for jumping from series to series and being obtuse to get into. Movies haven’t yet reached that point, and it would’ve felt much better, if all those mixed-series movies were called just Avengers 10 or Avengers: Thor and Hulk’s Day Off, to signify that they are all from the same series and are interdependent.

While thematically somewhat related, Immigrant Song have no place with alien vikings and the rest of the OST, reminiscent of 80s tradition of “future music” consisting of light synth. Well, at least it’s not another 80s-masturbation fest and it uses mostly original music, which also isn’t generic orchestral non-independent garbage

So called “3D” is plain abysmal and disjointed, also it seems that this movie was (poorly) converted and was not filmed in 3D from the start. Перевод — говно для даунов, актёры озвучки отвратительные.

@темы: Кинотеатр, Кино, Индустрия Развлечений, Thor: Ragnarok, Thor, Marvel, Hulk



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Yet another peculiar surrealistic animated short movie by Иван Максимов.

In some sense, for me, Максимов is solved author — i have no urge to see the rest of his works, because i know beforehand that they all are surreal and they all are good.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, 5/4


宇宙海賊キャプテンハーロック (Uchū Kaizoku Kyaputen Hārokku) (2013)

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Pirates of the Spacebbean: Depressed Men Pout in the Corner

Despite utterly depressed mood, overly dramatic edge-overload storyline and boring soundtrack, it’s still quite interesting to see. There are not much wholesome crazy space operas around these days. Even Star Wars is just moping around for past five movies.

Also the song played during credits is some laughable J-Pop.

Maybe it’s a fault of this adaptation, relying on the knowledge of the source material, or maybe it’s just japanese school of writing, but this movie just throws a bunch of high and low concepts at the viewer, supposing they will sort it all out for themselves.

@темы: Мультипликация/анимация, Uchu Kaizoku Kyaputen Harokku, Captain Herlock


Space Pirates and Zombies 2

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First game was a tight and rather deep top-down (space melee) shooter with some real-time tactics elements and full classic interface. This game… Is a bizarro third person flat-space shooter with real-time open world map. It has 2000s low-poly graphics, janky pseudo “air” 2000s GUI, and it is a sequel-now-with-factions, just like in 2000s.

Now you control the modular mothership, while all of the old ships are no more than fodder escort, with already unlocked predefined assortment of guns and ability to overlevell. You can switch to them, but the fleet acts like a swarm anyway and you can’t move every ship individually to separate corners of the map.
Instead of tech tree you have 2 limits for the size of the parts and cap on 15 cores, with percentile upgrades on level-up. Though, there is no cap on your level and exp-demand increase is very steep, which is very good and rewarding.
All quests are gone and there is only short storyline and a couple of mostly pointless “events”. Digging operations are not that good for resources, while being tens of times slower than in the original and without clear indication of resources of 2d map or ability to mine them with all ships at once.
There are a lot of different guns for different play-styles attached to different ship parts. There is even courier delivery system of your purchases and you can order bespoke maximum quality parts.
Old arenas were a test of wits and skills, now it’s just randomly generated 5 boring short stages of increasing difficulty per base, which are more akin to tutorial, than challenge. Even rewards for them are unworthy.
Over-world is engaging enough, but your engines will slowdown depending on the weight of your ship and your cargo, which is very unpleasant. And considering the lack of ability to speed-up time it’s not fun at all to watch your snail move from starbase to starbase to sell your garbage. there is a good system for instant selling of parts from your inventory, but it’s not mentioned anywhere and i discovered it only after i defeated the final boss.

The storyline was not that great before, but now it’s just random short outburst of who-cares cynical edgy you-have-to-be-quite-intelligent-to-understand-rick-and-morty texts with as ugly portraits as before. It heavily relies on you remembering all those people and reasons for their constant bickering from the first game. And even at that, that’s like five “kill them all” quests, with boring boss-fight and very bad cliffhanger. Narratively, the last quest is absolutely pointless and harms the storytelling with a wasted decision.

Overall it’s an epitome of 2000s junk — bizarro core mechanics, bad GUI which refused dos’ clutter and 90s era artistic panels, only to become unpleasant and barely readable, low poly angular graphics, sequel-now-with-factions, and somewhat innovative and strangely engaging mechanics, which you may not saw before and will never see again, in the grimdark future of generic american action adventure garbage. GOTY 2017, they don’t make them like these anymore.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры, Space Pirates and Zombies


Alien Shooter TD

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Sigma team continues to survive by reusing their old assets from Alien shooter 2 (2006). Though, in the current market it looks far superior to another ugly faux retro fake pixelart game with no talent, and the old music from the alien shooter is still great. If you don’t like tower defense genre, this game won’t change your mind, but it has enough fresh ideas for people who do like tower defense games. Mechanically, base game works very good and encourages the player to switch their strategy several times. Instead of towers you have several classes, which can bring up to three guns (out five or seven) to the level, and reloading those guns also costs money. So you have to find the fine balance between damage and ammo cost for the current meta. Though, heavy classes are under-utilized, since they are wasting a lot of space and don’t have big enough range. There is a lot of grinding and leveling up to do, with sufficient amount of guns of different quality, found on levels and in the lootboxes (for in-game currency). Each stage has four difficulty levels and there are 8 infinite stages. The main levels work great as is, but on infinite levels you start noticing the lack of usual for the genre target controls, which is the problem on the later waves.

It’s just a good game without ambitions. But in the year of no games, even just a good game is the king.

The game works just fine in UHD UWS Surround.

@темы: Компьютерные Игры, Alien Shooter

Житие в княжестве Московском